song for rainy days..

Hi, Jackie

This one here is for you...

A Dream

This is for you, sister...
may the song encourages you in walking the walk that He has set for you.
This would be my prayer for you :)

to encourage you,my friend..

Dearest my good and cherished friend in Singapore....
I believe that God will be with you in all things...you are in a good hand, as you look to Him and continue to trust Him with your life...

Hope this song will encourage you..to look up, and move forward with God wherever He guides you...Love ya!!

a time to trust

My last moment with my uncle in 2007...
Last week I lost an uncle...he passed away of heart failure, and I was feeling down....whenever I think about him, how he left this world in a quite tragic way. Nothing was going right for him..his family even left him...and he was alone..

Just couldnt bear the thought, and the question of where he would go after this life? what would happen to his life?felt really

helpless..and there's a lot of questions going on in my mind.

The moment I heard the news, I felt that at that moment, God was with me....and I could feel His comfort and peace surrounding me. Somehow, eventhough I do have questions which I dont have the anwers, but it seems that it doesnt matter at all. Felt that as I read the bible, God just reminding me that He is a Righteous God and a Just God...His ways are all just and right...

And His ways are always higher than mine..so I realised that I wont be able to understand things, with my limitations. And only God who knows and understand everything. When I look to Him, it seems that I could just put everything and trust Him with the outcome. Everything else fades in the light of His face.

Another season of learning to trust God and to worship Him for who He is in all circumstances.

Brekkie today at Campos Coffee

Started this morning with breakfast, well, maybe lunch almost..haha...with Serene at Campos Coffee at Fortitude Valley.

I'd recommend this place if you are a coffee lover, and like going to cafes'....

The coffee here is rich, stronger compares to Italian style coffee, but they did it really well...it left a nice taste afterwards...just right!Very satisfied!

anyone knows?

Looking for a nice chinese love song for dad or mom....

the journey

Somehow the journey of loss, disappointment and pain leads me closer to the heart of God. It became a lesson of what it means to be faithful and to continually fix
my eyes on Jesus.
A mark of being a disciple of Christ, to take up my daily cross and follow Him.
A journey in discovering God's faithfulness, love, mercy and grace.

faithful

The past weeks been a different season in my walk with God, not too sure how to describe it.
Not sure how to start too, but it's a time of rediscovering again a new kind of purpose, new kind of passion, new kind of perspectives. My ideas, plans, mindsets are challenged and I began to question in the light of God's truth, to really know and understand what it truly true.
A time where I felt there's a lot of things inside of me begin to die..and I really felt as if I'm just dying in the inside, felt no strength and can't do anything about it.
All I can do is to cry out to God.

Just a like a flower that begins to wither up and dried up..and all in a sudden, felt so poor, so broken, so helpless, realised that I'm really nothing.
It's when the revelation of how much I really need Him, that I cant live without Him, the thought of being without God scares me more than ever.
Felt very fragile, and didnt really like what I'm seeing inside of me. It's almost like I could see so much of the weaknesses and the frailty of my life and who I am, but at the same time, I'm yearning too for the Christlikeness to be a part of being who I am. It's the constant struggle and battle at all times. When that realisation hits, felt I'm torn between two worlds.

Also, maybe a bit restless too in my heart...and He knows it. And felt overwhelmed how patient and loving God is, He comforted and gave me peace. Eventhough the future is so uncertain, but all I know that His words stand forever.

And my prayer is that, I want to be found faithfully walking with Him, worshipping Him, and growing in my love for Him, nothing else really...nothing matters anymore, when finally my eyes have seen Him. He became the answers, the motivation, and there's nothing that you will not do if it's for Him. It all comes down to Him, to Him alone..our Saviour Jesus Christ.

Just to be found faithful to Him...forever.

my best friend's wedding

Two more days it'll be Jos' n Fab's wedding! Really happy for both of them. They really deserve each other. It's funny how they look alike too. Some says that only happens after you got married, so perhaps this shows somehow that they are a match made in heaven.. :)

Congratulation, my good friend..hope the blessing of God is upon your life, and as you embark on this new journey, may you discover more His purpose and calling for your life.
Remember, you are whole in Christ!

Until our next breakfast date...take care and enjoy yourself!!!

Love you lots, Jos!!!

Dumpling

Well, just changed again the layout of my blog..haha...

Tonight went over to Fion's mansion at EMP, the place where I used to live few years back. Had some dumplings, and I've gained a new skill through that...how to wrap a dumpling!! hahaha..
It was a simple, quick, and nice dinner...what else can you ask??
Not to mention that the Olympic was on...so left the place quite late.

Suddenly I mentioned about the next coming Olympic, which will be in 2012...that's 4 years from now!
Where would everyone be?and how's life would be in 4 years time?
Made me think...cos answer that came out of my mouth is (without thinking..).."Hmm, definitely I'll be married by then...and I'd imagine that they will too.."
Now that I sort of thinking over what I have just said...again, realised how small my expectation of life is! It seems to be the next thing in life, and to be what life is all about almost..scary!!! if you know what I mean...

I think it's time now to dream, to expect big things in life, maybe somewhere that dreams and expectations have just slipped through the mundane and routines of life...

I'm sure that's not what God has in mind the life that He has planned for me...eventhough they are part of life's journey..but it's not the whole thing.

There's more..and so much more...

Ephesians 3:20

Dedicated to Life Group

Tonight went for the movie Narnia the Prince Caspian..it was a great atmosphere! I think having the church around you, just felt very much like home. I loved it!!! Well, the movie was good..just the ending a bit hanging..hehe...guess it will continue to part 3 in the future.

Well, the main thing that I want to share is what happened throughout the day..God really spoke into my heart and teaching me about being a blessing...

At the same time that I saw the blessings, He challenged me to even be a blessing in the same way.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to mention few ones, as I learned so much from them tonight, and how God is challenging me to go to a greater distance in my action towards one another. It was the love of God that I encounter tonight, and how it even made more sense of what the community is all about. Of course there are many others too...but this time I want to mention the 3 special people that taught me a lesson tonight :

Steven Lee
I was trying to arrange for transport, for a kid that I knew, and after going around few people, finally I thought of Steven who works at Acacia Ridge! Thank God for His providence...and Steven agreed immediately!! Brother, I really admire your generosity and such a huge heart to serve and help others. It's a very admirable thing about you, and I'm thankful and very humbled to be able to learn so much from you.It wasnt the only time that I've asked help from you, and it was the same repsonse that you gave. You do have a great heart, and your kindness and sacrificial heart will get you really far in God. Thank you, brother for showing the love of God and how it should be in action.
I believe many other will testify the same thing, I remember when you treat some of us for supper that night after life group :)
Thank God for you...and want to encourage you to continue to do good and help others, as I believe God will even bless you even more! God sees every little thing that you do behind the scenes. :)

Boy
After the movie, there were a lot of conversations going around...and I went straight to look for that kid again (hmm..somehow I felt a bit responsible of making sure he's taken care of)...so I was asking around (again!!) for a space for him. He lives at southside, and even there were a lot of people staying there, but most of their cars are full.
Then I noticed Boy was helping me to ask around as well. Finally, after a big round.....then he said this that really amazed me..he would take him home, at first I was a bit puzzled, cos he didnt drive. then he said that he would go home(to Sunnybank) and come back again to Indooroopilly, then fetch the kid back to southside. that means 3 trips of 20 minutes drive!!!! Brother...your heart really blessed me, there at that moment I saw God in you, just like Jesus who would extend His hands as far as He needs to...who would go all the way to the cross...and your action exemplies Christ's love. I really honour your sacrifial heart, and the bigness of your heart to reach out and help people too. I was actually a bit speechless...Just want to encourage you that God sees and remember every single little thing that you do for others. I believe there were millions of them!!!!He'll bless you even more than that!!!

Keenix
I called this sister when she was half way almost reached her home....and since I didnt really have anyone to give me a lift, so I asked is she was okay to turn back and fetch me home. And this sister is a huge blessings...I know that she was quite hungry, and it was inconvenient for her to do that. But she just said she'll come and get me.
Again...I was blown away of how much of God's love that I see tonight...Sister, you have a great heart for God..and whatever that comes your way, as you choose to even bless in the midst of inconvenient times, I believe God's going to do some amazing work in your heart. I really believe so...really touched by your friendship all these times. I thank God to have you, sister :)

I was challenged to the core, as I asked myself, putting myself in their shoes, would I do the same? How would I have reacted? Would I have done what Jesus would do?
So I pray that God will change my heart and use my life to be poured out for other...I am sick of just living for myself, I am sick of my selfishness and the lack of love in my heart. When I fail to give, I also fail to receive...
God continue to show me that a lot of times...In those small "incoveniences", they are actually "opportunities"...to bless, to love, to grow in our heart and character...
The way of the God is the opposite of the ways of the world...the world will teach us to just hold on things for ourselves, and when we give, we loose.....But the way of God is, when we give, we actually gaining, and when we loose our lives, we attain our lives...
And also, the small actions of kindness and love, as we are faithful in little things, we learn to cultivate the attitude of responding and obeying God in the midst of incoveniences, then God can trust us even of the greater things. Do not despise the days of small beginning...
Brothers and sisters, let's grow and learn from one another...I know that none of us is perfect, but no matter what, we make a committment to stick together as a family ordained by God, stick to God and one another :)

An honour and priviledge to share this journey together with all of you...to learn from each of you..all I can say is "Thank you!!!"

If I could end with a verse :
(John 13:34-35)
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

The Day..

Today, I came upon the verse(Luke17:26-27)"Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also it will be in the days of the Son of Man.People were eating,drinking,marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark.Then the flood came and destroyed them all."
As I began to ponder about it, it just hit my heart, the sense of urgency that the Day is approaching, and that Day will come like a thief in the night, where no one will expect.It stir my heart to begin to live my life differently. As I ask God to help me that I may began to move beyond self-focus, selfishness, my own plans& ambitions in life.To loose my life for Christ and to start to embrace and live in the calling and purpose of God. I want to run with the vision of the Kingdom.

I believe that God's purpose will continue to move on, and it's up to me whether I want to run with it, or just let it pass me by. Well, I definitely dont want to be left behind!It's a time to seek the face of God, His will upon our lives, and make it the ultimate reason why we live here on earth. And the Holy Spirit began to remind me not to be tangled with the cares of the world, for it will choke the life of God in us. The world desires is the enemy of desire for God.

I remembered what Darlene Zscheck said during the worship night at COC a week ago, that when we ask God to bless us, and whatever things that we have, if it brings "comfort", then it will begin to rob us from the life of God in us. When we are comfortable, we are like Wally ( the duck that Ps.Wilson shared during preaching), that begin to forget the purpose and the destiny,of what it can do and supposed to do.

I found that complacency and coldness of heart towards God could easily crepe in unoticed. It's scary sometimes, when I feel that everything is going alright, while the truth is I am starting to backslide. It's when I know I need to check my heart again and allow the Holy Spirit to show me the truth, and let the truth set me free from the self-deception and lies of the enemy. At times it feels like a kick on the butt! Another times, it feels like a surgery on the heart, and it's painful for sure when I am faced with the reality of my own self before God. But that experience humbled me, knowing that the love and grace of God is so deep, so much...despite of all those failings and weaknesses, He always comes in gentleness and patience, giving me another chance to turn back to Him. And He restore again the relationship, for He keeps His covenant of love with us. The beauty of the saving grace of Jesus Christ, it's undescribable!!

Just like in the days of Noah, the building of the ark I believe it symbolise how the church is being rebuild. As the Day is approaching, I believe it's a crucial time where we need to build the Kingdom of God, and take our place in His body, the church. The Bridegroom is preparing His bride..God is perfecting and refining His church. Only when we build on what's eternal, then by God's grace then we can stand firm until the end. And the only eternal thing is the Word of God...Let's build our lives specifically according to the Word of God, for everything eventually will pass away, but the Word of God stands forever. I always remind myself, that my life here is a passing breeze in the light of eternity, and one Day...I will be standing face to face with my Maker..and I want my life to count, that I have lived to do His will. Just like Jesus, who came not for His own interest, but He came to do the will of the Father.

It began to make more sense, the purpose of being in the community of church, it's all about taking our place, and begin to embrace our calling in God, to cover each other weaknesses, and strengthen and complete the body..so that the body the function well, as each part does its work. For each one, God has called to do different things in His body.

About the Hobart trip...

Used to think that it takes a lot to do things, whether it be in the ministry or other areas in life. I need to be more skillful, stronger, smarter, more capable and stuff...
It's true...it does requires a lot of my time and effort, discipline, strong will.
A lot of times, there are failings, down moments, feeling like it's going round and round in the circle.

I found it takes a lot more to be still...
To be still when you are in the storm that's wrecking your world, to be still in the midst of noise and chaos around you. To be still when discouragement and disappointment comes. To be still when there are millions of questions in your mind, and there seems to be no answer. To be still, when you dont understand what's happening, and future seems to be uncertain.

To be still before God, and know that He is the Lord of all the earth.
In this stillness, we glorify Him. We hear His voice. We sense His presence. We are with Him.

Well, another lesson from God, this time around, when there are moments where I just feel as if I'm lost and confused...of all the questions that I have, expectations, dreams and desires...
Hmm...trying to figure out the whole picture and hope that things will go as I thought it will be..
But, it didnt happen that way! Yeapp, God proves again and again, that His way is always higher and better!!!

In Hobart, was seeking God and expecting that God will show me a glimpse of His plan and just the direction of where and what does He wants me to do. Of course my natural tendency, is to have a few things in mind already, and kind of proposing them to Him, and ask Him to choose one of it..hahaha...it's funny when I think about it.
I mean, it's like saying to Him...Okay, these are the best that I could come out with, what I think are Your plans for my life...so please choose one out these plans...
I'm glad that He knows how fragile and limited we are!!Yeah..I mean how clueless I am!!
Instead of showing me stuff like, the obvious plan of where and what and how...He impress the bible verse in Isaiah 30:21 " Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, this is the way, walk in it".....
Hmm..I read it again and again..and couldnt really grasp what God is trying to tell me, in regards of the question that I'm asking Him...
Finally, the revelation came after I came back from Hobart, when I wasnt expecting it! Suddenly the revelation of the word, that it's not about this or that that I'm doing, it's not about which specific thing, place, or anything like that.It's not about me trying to figure out what's the best way for me...
But it's about living in the close and intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit...it's about every moment, taking each step at a time, to hear what He is saying, and immediately respond and obey.
That's why it's not about knowing it, but about having Him close, close enough that I can hear His voice. And when I'm walking with Him, when I'm walking in the right path, He'll encourage and reassure me that it is the right one.
Hmmm...a trip worth taken!

Trip to Hobart

Was in Hobart for the past 4 days for a short getaway. Really had a good and relaxing time there. The weather was..well...pretty cold. But God has blessed those few days that it was actually quite warm, according to the local. Generally the difference is 10 degrees lower compares to Brisbane. The city is quiet, clean, and not too many people. Stayed in the hotel, which is located just behind the girls' ministry house. Managed to spend some time with the brothers and sisters from Hope Hobart. Felt the warmth of the love of the people, and I felt very blessed.

Didnt expect that I'd get so blessed during the trip..God is good :)

Just a really refreshing time, felt renewed after the trip.

Will post what God has spoken over that time soon...

Women can't read maps?

Today the weather was beautiful! Been waiting for today to catch up on my running along the riverside...haha..I begin to really enjoying it. Hmm, too bad I wont be able to do it once I move to EMP :(
Afterwards, went to a sister's house who cooked us some dinner. And had a bit of difficulty trying to find my way to her house.
Haha..I think one of my weakness is definitely no sense of direction on the road! Yeap, I think it's true when they say that women can't read maps, well at least for me anyway...
So..you can guess what happened. I got lost in the city..hahaha...so I decided to call this brother, which I normally do when I get lost on the road..hehe..and in my panic voice I demand him to give me the direction until I reach the destination. While he was trying to advise me that I should learn to read the Refidex, but at that time, I had no intention to prolong my journey. I really have no confidence on myself about this...I'm really bad in reading maps. Oh, you little faith!!
Anyway, praise God that this brother is patient and understanding enough to direct me and yuhuu...I finally got there!
When I reached home, suddenly it just clicked in my mind, that wow..I really praise God, can't thank Him enough for the people that God placed in my life. When I needed that help, there was someone there, placed by God to help. And it just makes a lot more sense of what the body of Christ should be, that we ought to cover each other's weakness, where the stronger help the weaker part, and to love one another, for with love, it covers a multitude of sins. Instead of fighting with each other, we need to change our attitude to how we can help one another instead with the strength/ability that we posses that others are lacking. That's why God placed different people with different strength & weaknesses, so that we can compliment one another.

And...been thinking about this for a while, the solution to my problem...I know I need to learn to read the maps.
Or...alternatively, I can save some money and get myself a GPS system!

Hmm...I think the 2nd option is more appealing :) hahaha...

Don't know why...

Don't know why...
I care so much about this boy that I hardly knew. The first time I saw him, my heart goes out to him.
Don't know why ...
I could feel what he feels, the fear, the disappointment, the hurt, having to lose someone he loves so much.
Don't know why...
I want to do what I can to love and to help.
Don't know why...
For once, it seems to be a genuine feeling from the heart.
Don't know why...
Sometimes I do what I do.
Don't know why...
I felt like I've changed and no longer the same.
Don't know why...
I can't explain when, where or how did it start.
But God knows why...

And it's getting clearer than before,
It gets bigger, wider, purer, and cleaner..
Each time He came in and stay for a little while..
A little longer...finally...
He made it His house,
And the Carpenter begin to tear down, rebuild, reorganise, and refine,
Until it's finally His..
Then..I can finally stay there.

Now I know why...

Many times...

The first time...
I heard about it, and it gripped my heart, it became an answer that I was always looking for.
It opened my eyes, it changes my life, it shows me a new way of living.

The second time...
I began to understand it, I began to find ways to apply it in my life. It became my life purpose and direction.
It guided me in every decision, it made sense of things when things began not to make any sense.

Somewhere in the middle...
I've forgotten about it, it began to fade away in my heart. I get caught up in my own small little world.
In it's absence, there was confusion, a lot more of common sense. Reality seems to be what only the eyes can see.
There were many more choices, many road signs.

The third time...
It began to take hold of me. Thought I've lost it, didn't realise it never left me. It gripped my heart again.
In a way I've never felt before, it speaks of a much more clarity of what life is all about.
It became stronger and more real than ever. Until it's only what I could feel and live for.

Now....
It begin to become a part of who I am. What the eyes see, what the ears hear, what the mouth speaks, and what the heart feels. It has transformed my mind. It gives one way to live, one purpose to live.
It made me believe, that there is only one way, one truth, that leads to life. It's beyond the logic and explanation.
It's what the heart feels, know, understand, believe, and what it become.
I need to show it, I need to say it, I need to give it away, I need to live it, I need to become...

Beautiful

This afternoon was at the wedding...and during the ceremony, when they are exchanging their vow, I felt wow...it's so beautiful. The joining of two hearts, two lives, in the presence of God.
It's something that God has ordained and initiated..long way before time.
And I kept on saying to myself, God..this is so beautiful. And my hearts was touched...as I begin to realise more how beautiful God is, it just amazes me more and more.
Then I was reminded of the picture of Christ and His bride, and I get excited!! Waiting for that day to come, it will be beautiful and glorious, pure and spotless.
Everything else fall short...in comparison to the beauty of our Lord!

At the riverside

I went for a walk this evening before dinner time, just felt that I want to have a walk with God. Grabbed a coffee, and started walking at the riverside. I love nature, and everything that's not man-made...they always remind me of how amazing and beautiful God is. At my area, Brisbane River is the closest to nature that I can get that's within walking distance..hehe...Thoughts just going around in my mind, in and out, so much to say, but no words came out of me.

Sat by the riverside, and just looking at the reflections on the water, and the skies with just few stars, wasn't late enough for the moon to make its ways.

Heard so much noises at the back, the traffic, people passing by, bicycles....but I tried to be still, and listen to His voice. I asked that He will speak. I needed to hear His voice. For reasons that I couldn't express fully, and for things that I can't find words to describe.

All of a sudden, I heard the sound of the ripples against the rocks....and at that moment, I heard it as more that just ripples, but I heard His voice.

My heart could hear His voice, saying .."I am here...I am still here with you.."

It was just the nature's sound, but to me, it's much more than that. It wasn't even a language, but to me, it speaks words that touched my heart deeply.

It was that same voice that I have learned to recognise over the years, the voice that leads me, and speaks hope and truth, the voice close to my heart. Nothing could touch me in the way that this voice could do. It's His voice....

That moment, reassured me that no matter what I'm going through, how blurry sometimes things are, how confusing things can get, and how unclear the path is, what matters is...He is with me...and that's all I need to know, that's all I need to hear.

My Shield

This morning, was on my way to work...as I was driving along the highway, heard a sharp sound..a tiny rock hit my windscreen!!! It was so tiny but yet make such a noise, and I was just thanking God that the windscreen protected and shielded me. If not then, it could be fatal ! well, think of the worst scenario....
At that moment, reminded that God is like that windscreen, it's a transparent glass, that sometimes I dont see, but it's surrounding me, protecting me and shielded me on every way.

At times when I am not aware of the danger coming, those small tiny rocks that hits my world, coming from every direction...it is Him who build His shield around me. I am safe in His presence...

Thank you, Jesus :) for always being there for me, You've protected me and you surround me with Your shield. You go before me, and You lead me each step of the way.

I'm still alive and still standing here, declaring Your praise every single
moment I live.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)

Seek His face

Last night, had an encounter, felt the heart of God....
Weeping, grieving.......
And I asked, "Lord, why do I see You crying? what saddens Your heart?"
I begin to hear...the Holy Spirit saying, that "My people, they lack of prayer...My people, do not seek Me enough.." Felt the heart of God wanting to rise up people who would pray and seek His face.
And I wept.....repent... I asked God that He'll allow me to share His burdens.
There's a sense of urgency, a heart cry, wanting more of God...
He reminded me :
"If my people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face,
and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and
will heal their land."(2 Chronicles 7:14)

He is calling every heart and soul, to come before Him, on your knees, and begin to seek His face.

God's Leading (Life group 25th April'08)

(wrote this last night, but internet connection failed..hehe...)

I’m actually very tired after the fantastic Life Group that we had tonight, just got home not long ago. But just couldnt contain the awe and excitement seeing what God has done. Really enjoyed being just in God’s presence, and allow Him to lead the meeting tonight. And really felt that God was leading the life group, from the start to the end. Well, couple of us were the last few to go home, had a great sharing and encouraging time with the lovely couple from Chermside.

From the P&W time, eventhough lack of preparation, and lots of things could be done...but seriously, last night God just made that moment to be a God moment!Out of our weakness, He became strong, and we learn to rely upon Him and to flow with Him, not the opposite. Man!!! It was such a wonderful moment, just watching God moves. Everything seems to be effortless and everyone was just flowing together. There was a bond, unity, where we were just focusing on God and allowing Him to speak to us. Had a great moment there, waiting upon God and moving with God, again....it’s not the opposite.
So eventhough we forgot about some stuff, just here and there, but truly it was a moment where God was teaching me, personally, to learn to rely upon Him, as if I was seeing things through a different lenses. And it just amazed me, totally overwhelmed!God really works for the good of those who love Him...and choose to trust and rely upon Him.

Big applause to all my brothers and sisters, my family in Christ, who have blessed my life so much just by being who you are and your life for God. I see a reflection of God in each and one of you. And I’m really excited to witness what God is going to do through your life. There’s no limit to what God could do through you when you let Him to. I learn what love is, through all of you.
My dearest sister tonight who lead the praise for the 1st time....very encouraged by your heart to even step out of your fear, and choose to honour Him anyway. You were amazing, sister!We did have fun yeah?I really saw you just being you, with that freedom just gave your best praise to God, very blessed by that. To my other sister who back-up sing for us, you’ve blessed everyone too with your heart to serve God despite how uneasy it is. I could already see you leading next time :p

During the time of sharing, another God moment, felt as if God orchestrated everything, and it was a good time of learning from one another. Certain statement that really inspiring was (rephrased..):
· To love God and others, is a choice we can make.
· No matter how long we became a Christian, but we must not let our hunger and thirst for God dies.
· To keep the broken spirit within our hearts, and to come in true repentance before God.Then as we experience the restoration in God, we can allow Him to use our lives to lead others that they too may experience that same restoration in Him.
· To choose to take hold of our mind, and allow God’s words to rule our mind instead.

So much more, but my eyes are getting heavier...hehehe...time to recharge, and get ready for another day. Thank God it’s a Saturday tomorrow.... J

My Lover spoke..

My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise,my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.
See! the winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come....
....show me your face, let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
(Song of Songs 2:10-12,14)

Looking for love in wrong places

Last night was at Gold Coast service, and it was a really refreshing moment with God. The service was amazing, I could feel that as if God was leading the whole service, and the whole church was just following the leading of God, from the start to the end. God's presence came really strong. As if I could just stay there and not go anywhere.

Ps.Lance was preaching a really anointed and convicting sermon, as the church was going through a series of "Looking for Love in the Right place" and last night the grand finale topic was what are the wrong places to look for love.

In summary, the wrong places to look for love are :

• Looking for love in feelings
• Looking for love in sexual relationship
• Looking for love in possessing the one you love
• Looking for love in your heart alone
• Looking for love within limits

Inspiring and convicting statements:

• The greatest place to find love, is where we have love within our own heart to love others.
• One way to love ourselves is to start loving others first.
• Love needs to be lived out in action (Confession + Demonstration)
• We can expand in our love as we allow it to.
• If we ever behold God's glory and come to know Him, but if we don't have love for others, then we are merely tourist/visitor for love.
• Who wants to be loved despite that we are unlovable?But who want to remain unlovable despite the fact that we are perfectly loved?

Could not go without repenting and asking God to show me what it really means to love Him, having His love within me and living it out!

Looking for a mate?

(Genesis 2:18-23)
It's just amazing how God's word speaks to you in a whole different way, eventhough you may have read it so many times..it just amazes me!!
When I continue reading through the Genesis, the word spoke to me in a whole different way, made me think though, howcome I never thought about it this way?
I'd think this is as a perspective in BGR relationship:

(v18)The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him
It is God who initiate the relationship, and the thought of God giving me a partner for life, it has been His idea since the beginning of time.
So if you're doubting weather God cares and will meet your need of a life partner? well, read this verse again and again, and be assured that you can trust God to meet your need in this area.

(v19-20)Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found
As I read the following verses, I was a bit puzzled. First, God said that He will make a helpmate for Adam, then the next thing is He formed every living creature and let Adam to give them their names....?? Earlier in Genesis 1, when God speaks one thing, the next thing is the definitely it come to pass.
Then, it just clicked!! It is the next thing!!!! God called Adam into a partnership(that's what I called), to share and involve him in what He is doing. I mean, God is more than able to come up with names for all His creation. I mean, that just spoke to me that God is a relational God, He doesnt just sees us a one of His creation, but more than that He wants us to be His friend, His business partner,to relate with us in every manner. I believe that through this experience, Adam came to experience the deeper dimension of his relationship with God, he began to relate with God. And Adam did what was given to him, the responsibility and priviledge to have God trusting him to do the work.
I believe that God given timing for a relationship is when we learn to first walk with God, experience Him, to discover the different dimension of who God is. It's such a priviledge and delight for me, to have the chance to know God so intimately...I mean, who am I? nothing but a fine dust!! But God values me and loves me more than what I could imagine!!

(v21-23)So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, for she was taken out of man."
I love this part, when after all is said and done, God came back to His first intention of giving him a helpmate!Good news!!God doesnt forget!I believe at that time, Adam was just enjoying his time with God, and he was so occupied with God..he's having a fulfilled life with God. No worries, just a contented life.
Then God, being a good God, bring His words to come to pass. I noticed that God formed the woman without Adam's knowledge, and then God presented her to Adam.
The moment she came, Adam recognised her straightaway!!Wow, I mean God even didnt have to tell Adam that this is the ONE!!!It's the question that we ask from time to time...Is this man/woman the ONE???
How could Adam do it? I believe that it was through the time he had with God previously, he came to recognise God's providence, and what's of God, he came to recognise God's timing and a new revelation of who God is, a place of trust and providence.

God's season and timing

A reflection of how the scriptures speaks to me..wow!! I was so excited when it just kind of opened up to me in a whole different way.

(Genesis 1)
God's nature to create, and whatever He speaks, it came into being. Each day, He spoke things that made all the heavens and earth and everything in it. It displays the power and the glory of God through His creation.
In a day,He accomplished so much, more than what we can imagine could happen.
Pondering at this, how could at times when hardships comes and there are impossible situations, we doubt what God can do in the situation?obviously, that underestimate who God is and His Sovereignity over everything, beyond whatever we could think of!
One day is like a thousand days for the Lord, and His time frame is definitely not like ours. But His timing is always perfect and good. I believe whatever that happens in His timing is always good, and God blesses it. God makes all things beautiful in its time, so in every thing there's a God given timing.
When I look around the creation of God, it revolves around timing. The day and night, the season, the growth of every living thing,etc..
So it's always the wisest thing to do, to consult God about the timing and the manner of things in our lives.
Recognising the seasons in our lives.

What kind of car would you be?

My vocal teacher asked me this question :
"If you could imagine yourself being a car, what kind of car would you be?"
Hmm...I couldnt come up with an answer, made me think ...well, also because I'm not sure what's the best car out there..but I told her that it doesnt really bother me, I'm quite happy with what I have, as long as it works well. She told me about her 12 year old student who answered that she would be a lamborghini(hope I spell it rite...).
Then she asked me again,if God would give me any type of car, what would I ask?? haha! of course then my answer was different. this time I said, the best car that you could possibly have?something better than lamborghini????

What could have possibly God planted in our lives? the potential and the seed of greatness that He has destined for our lives? Are we satisfied and content with what we have or what we can think we can ever achieve or be in this life?

I need to start to dream bigger...in my own vision for my life in God. For He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above what we can think or ask!
My God!!! again...I'm ashamed of how small my dream and vision is...may He continue to add and enlarge my life, that in my lifetime, I could stand and testify,....
"I've never thought that my life could be used by God in this way, it's something that I never thought of or I could ever possibly do!!!!!"

So, I ask you again...what kind of car would you be?

Family

My sister wrote en email to me...(finally!!). Since we dont have computer at home and internet is such a foreign thing for my parents and my younger sister.
She shared about the family situation, well, basically just my mom, dad, older brother, and herself living together at home...(a place where I'll always want to be...)
Been praying about the family situation, for every single problem/challenges that each of them is facing, believing God that He'll bring about the miracles...for every single person.

Things actually are getting worse....
Almost started worrying and anxious..my heart was crying out His name, and I dont understand why things dont get better.
But I know deep in my heart, that He is in control...and I can trust Him with my family.
It's just that feeling, when bad news came or somehow faced with some challenges, then I pause, and turn my eyes upon Jesus....His peace fills my heart, and I dont have to understand, cos I know God does...and nothing that I can do, but I know God will do...
So again, I lay this burden on Him.

The worst things get, the more God's name will be glorified

The more I can hope and believe.

February'08 Chinese New Year

In That Place

How do I know when I have died to myself, when the real me has finally surfaced and crucified in the life of Christ?His work seems to be endless, and there's a lot of work to be done in my heart. I realised how complicated a human being is, not just limited to women....it's as if God held up a mirror of the real me, and I get really scared, seeing how there's nothing good apart from God Himself in me. I do get anxious with myself at times, knowing that when my flesh started to take control rather than God Himself, well...things can get messy and I'll be just deceiving myself. Taking pride in the name of God...where self-reliance and the best thought of my mind get involved.

It's a time to go through the fire, time of purification, drawing near to the holiness of God...where no human flesh can stand before Him. Each step requires death, a burn offering pleasing and acceptable to God. There is pain and struggle within the human heart, a fierce battle raging in the inside, constant battle between two kingdoms. And that's when our self-will comes in, we take hold of it and choose whom are we going to serve?
What do we give our life to? do we allow darkness or the light to take hold of our world?there is a light that masked itself as light, where satan is dressed and appear as an angel of light. But the light that is pure, that sets us free, the light that cuts deep within the heart like a double edge sword, where no human flesh can remain alive. It makes us uncomfortable with ourselves, vulnerable, and completely broken, poor....it gets us to the place of humility, a place of realisation how small and fragile everything else, and how steady, strong, and great is our God.

So Lord..I want to remain in that place.
Burn within me with your Holy fire...and take me deeper, that I may stay there.