How do I know when I have died to myself, when the real me has finally surfaced and crucified in the life of Christ?His work seems to be endless, and there's a lot of work to be done in my heart. I realised how complicated a human being is, not just limited to women....it's as if God held up a mirror of the real me, and I get really scared, seeing how there's nothing good apart from God Himself in me. I do get anxious with myself at times, knowing that when my flesh started to take control rather than God Himself, well...things can get messy and I'll be just deceiving myself. Taking pride in the name of God...where self-reliance and the best thought of my mind get involved.
It's a time to go through the fire, time of purification, drawing near to the holiness of God...where no human flesh can stand before Him. Each step requires death, a burn offering pleasing and acceptable to God. There is pain and struggle within the human heart, a fierce battle raging in the inside, constant battle between two kingdoms. And that's when our self-will comes in, we take hold of it and choose whom are we going to serve?
What do we give our life to? do we allow darkness or the light to take hold of our world?there is a light that masked itself as light, where satan is dressed and appear as an angel of light. But the light that is pure, that sets us free, the light that cuts deep within the heart like a double edge sword, where no human flesh can remain alive. It makes us uncomfortable with ourselves, vulnerable, and completely broken, poor....it gets us to the place of humility, a place of realisation how small and fragile everything else, and how steady, strong, and great is our God.
So Lord..I want to remain in that place.
Burn within me with your Holy fire...and take me deeper, that I may stay there.
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