broken and empty

If I can say what God is desiring of me at this moment, is that for me to be broken and empty. I remember the prayer I made quite a while ago : I want to have His heartbeat, and to have a heart of love and compassion...just like Jesus, out of His love for us, that He did what He did..

And God is working that in my life, I believe...who knows the ways that God use to accomplish His plan, that I can never fully figure out or understand. But one thing I believe, that it is the best...
Even now, I still dont understand why the hand of God is upon me, breaking the shell of pride, selfishness, and pulling out the root of my fleshly desires...and when He put them in the light, when He alllows me to see them...a deeper realisation of how ugly, unworthy, undeserving I am..
Before a Holy God...I am just nothing.I had to come in repentance of my sins, because only towards Him that I will only sin.Before a Holy and Righteous God, how can I brag about my good deeds and who I am?

I feel so small...and God is so big..once again I come to experience the glimpse of the majestic and glorious of who He is.I know that there's still more than this...
And in the presence of a Holy God, I began to tremble...realising that how fragile our life is, and if it's not by the mercy and grace of God, we are doomed!

How can one be wise in his/her own eyes...in the presence of One who made the universe and everything in it?

How can one be strong in his/her own strength...in the presence of Almighty God who sits on the throne, with all the dominion and powers at His feet?

How can one say that he/she is good...in the presence of Holy and Righteous God who is perfect in all His ways, and there is no darkness at all in Him?

Now I understand why David said in Psalm 51:17...
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God You will not despise.."

Somehow in our lack, we are filled...in our brokeness, we are restored...in our loneliness, we are comforted....the grace of God that is made perfect in our weakness.

In times like this, when I know that hand of God is upon me, I will rejoice...why need to be downcast O, my soul? put your hope in God, Your Saviour...and rejoice :)