Deuteronomy 4:24

"For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God"

This song has again reminded me how jealous God is over my heart, again and again I found God is digging real deep inside my heart, shedding His light over everything...and wanting it all! A time to surrender and lay down all things at the feet of my Maker.

I can really say, that He won't relent until He has all of me! The beauty of His grace...!

BIG GOD...small me

Job 38:1-5

The the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said :

"Who is this that darkens My counsel with words without knowledge?

Brace yourself like a man, I will question you, and you shall answer Me.

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell Me,if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions?Surely you know!

Who stretched a measuring line across it?

I was reading the verse and ponder about it..and felt that God was really speaking to me through this. Everytime I ask why?when?...then again I remember the greatness of God and His sovereignity over all things. And why do I ask Him why and when? when He has said that all things are made beautiful in its own time...God's time.

Again, He reminded me that I dont have to understand everything, especially when things are going in a wrong direction, and it brings you towards a journey where you didn't anticipate
before.

Times when it's easy to lose hope and focus on the cross, times in the valley, in the darkness, in the storm of life....those times when God will be who He is...the great I AM, who is present and will be..in those times, if we just turn our eyes to Him, and cling on to Him.

When we are small and weak, it magnifies how big and strong He is.

So it's a lesson to learn to trust Him, and surrender my days to come into His hand...
I believe that through times like this, just like Job, who trusted God in his unwavering faith, against all odds..and the result, God reveals Himself to him in a deeper way, and his faith grew even more...his faith was proven to be genuine, faith that did not burn when it went through the fire of trials and testing.

Job 42:1-2,5-6

Then Job replied to the Lord:

"I know that You can do all things, no plan of Yours can be thwarted."

"My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes"

broken and empty

If I can say what God is desiring of me at this moment, is that for me to be broken and empty. I remember the prayer I made quite a while ago : I want to have His heartbeat, and to have a heart of love and compassion...just like Jesus, out of His love for us, that He did what He did..

And God is working that in my life, I believe...who knows the ways that God use to accomplish His plan, that I can never fully figure out or understand. But one thing I believe, that it is the best...
Even now, I still dont understand why the hand of God is upon me, breaking the shell of pride, selfishness, and pulling out the root of my fleshly desires...and when He put them in the light, when He alllows me to see them...a deeper realisation of how ugly, unworthy, undeserving I am..
Before a Holy God...I am just nothing.I had to come in repentance of my sins, because only towards Him that I will only sin.Before a Holy and Righteous God, how can I brag about my good deeds and who I am?

I feel so small...and God is so big..once again I come to experience the glimpse of the majestic and glorious of who He is.I know that there's still more than this...
And in the presence of a Holy God, I began to tremble...realising that how fragile our life is, and if it's not by the mercy and grace of God, we are doomed!

How can one be wise in his/her own eyes...in the presence of One who made the universe and everything in it?

How can one be strong in his/her own strength...in the presence of Almighty God who sits on the throne, with all the dominion and powers at His feet?

How can one say that he/she is good...in the presence of Holy and Righteous God who is perfect in all His ways, and there is no darkness at all in Him?

Now I understand why David said in Psalm 51:17...
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God You will not despise.."

Somehow in our lack, we are filled...in our brokeness, we are restored...in our loneliness, we are comforted....the grace of God that is made perfect in our weakness.

In times like this, when I know that hand of God is upon me, I will rejoice...why need to be downcast O, my soul? put your hope in God, Your Saviour...and rejoice :)

Love Letter from WiddlyTinks.com

grace overflows

Lately God is doing something in my heart, wanting to bring a real change of my character. The more I want to be good, but the bad always comes out..the more I want to do good, but instead always does the wrong thing! I wonder why it seems that when I want to turn left, but I found myself taking the right turn.....duh!

But somehow in the midst of my own chaotic world, I know that God is up to something.And in the midst of all that, faith is the only thing I have.Trying to move forward in the midst of uncertainties, and continuing the hope and His promises for my life.

And I began to see the light...that He is really wanting to do the real work in my life,showing me that I really need Him for that change. And nothing in my own stregth is good enough to do that.
The more He shows me who I really am, in the light of who He is...man!! the only way to describe is, really feel like a "worm"..small, ugly, and ...dont really like what I see...
Not that I dont love myself, but when I see the sin in my heart, my heart just grieves...and as much as I dont want to sin, but knowing that it lives inside me, always at war with what the Spirit of God wants to do...**sigh***

Tonight during PM, I felt so unworthy, the feeling that I am very small, in the presence of a Holy and Almighty God...feeling sinful, and just very small...
Then it comes...the grace overflowing from the throne of heaven, filling up every fiber of my being.Just couldnt help but to cry...felt so undeserving, and at the same time, knowing that His love will never leave me.

His grace tells me that I am loved, it tells me that I've been forgiven, accepted, and being made clean.And it's not because of who I am or what I do, but simply because of what He has done.
There in that place, I found peace again and the love of God that so deeply touched me and will continue to show itself in my life..this I really believe.

So I know now, that His grace will be made sufficient in my life. And as I offer my life to Him, then I know that I am in a good hand of my Maker :)

The best thing is..this grace is freely given to whoever needs it.

my prayer

My prayer is not that God takes away all my troubles, but that He will set me free from myself.....
The more I see myself and what's inside of me, I am grieved...and I dont really like what I see, not a pretty sight. And the more I realise that I need His Holy Spirit to work through me, to change me, and to help me. The more too I realise how fragile and weak my heart and human spirit is, and without His grace, I'd be lost and confused..not sure where would I end up.

My prayer is not that God protects me from all troubles, but that He will break the inside of me, so that I will die to myself, only having the life of Christ in me. The constant struggles inside, between my flesh nature and the Spirit life. At times, I am weak, made mistakes, wrong choices, following the flesh...and again, I am grieved. I cry out to Him who is able to save me and give me the strength to overcome...Jesus...the name above all names, My Saviour alone...Lifegiver...Comforter, who is forever faithful, loving and just.
How I desire to be more and more like Him...

And now my prayer is that, He will cleanse my everyday, work through my heart that it will become pure and blameless, filling it with a desire for Him..To know His heart more, that I may too have a heart like His...a heart filled with compassion and love.
I know I have a lot of work to do, and God has a lot to do too...but I do believe with all my heart, that He will grant me the strength and grace all the way, as I lean upon Him.

My prayer too that I will not live my life just for myself, but that as God breaks, mould,change, and matures...it will be a fragrant offering, outpouring to others.To be blessing and encouragement to as many people as possible.

Now, Lord..please help me.

resting

Had a really good of rest today.... and just being able to enjoy the presence of God without any distractions! Still learning to cast all my cares unto Him, and the more I do, the lighter my burdens are, and the more rest that I have in my heart.Problems and uncertainties seems not to matter anymore, and everythings fades away in the light of who He is.

It's a daily decision that I need to make, now...will try to remind myself, to always..at the end of the day, to cast all my cares for the day to Him..and taking the rest that He intend me to have in Him. There is so much peace that overflows when I'm in that place of rest with Him, the peace that surpasses all understanding, goes beyond everything else. It stills my heart, to be attentive to listen to Him, to what He wants to speak.

Felt that He is calling me closer...deeper...yes, it will come with a price.I guess I've resolved that I am willing...and I know that whatever things that I may go through, it will be worthwile.I know at times that my flesh may be weak, but I am confident in the Spirit that's in me. He will be my Helper and Counsellor.

Friends...take His yoke and rest in Him, cast all your cares unto His, for the simple fact that He cares for you, more than you can ever imagine.

nothing..

nothing really satisfies, but being in the presence of God

there is a deep sense of awe, holiness, love, grace, and mercy....

fill the heart so much, that the flesh can't take it

and all I can do is weep...

when God made you...

Encouraged myself today through His promises over my life. Again and again I do need to remind myself, because worries and distractions can take over the focus on Him.
Hmm...listened to beautiful songs, written by a couple who has trusted God to provide and to make a way for them. Through their faith in God, they are now able to testify about the faithfulness of God and how everything works out for His good purpose for our lives.

It's one of my heart desire, to see Jesus work through every area of my life, so that my life can bring Him glory. Giving the pen of my life to Him, and allow Him to write the best story ever...I have nothing to loose, when I have Jesus..nothing to fear, when I have Jesus..nothing I can't give, when I have Jesus...and nothing I can't have, when I have Jesus.

Jesus, my all in all...

(from the song) this I want to say ...
"When God made you, He must have been thinking of me too.." ^_^