vanessa chia's journal of life, faith and other stuff...

Transitioning

2012-02-04T02:45:00.002+10:00

It's a new year! A new season...which I look forward to many good things ahead, the fulfillment of His promises in my life. Somehow I feel great anticipation and excitement...to see what God has in store for me. Keeping my hopes up! :)

But at the same time...also having this mixed feelings inside of me. There are still many uncertainties, the unknown, and things that I'm seeking God about, direction, settling back in Brisbane...and many other things here and there!Having the certainty of where He is leading me, but also a bit lost at the same time...trying to figure out where I'll fit in the scheme of things...and decisions..decisions..gotta make 'em, funny how I think they are mine to make, but actually not...for who understand his/her own ways when the Lord is the One who determines their steps?

A little nervous still...trying to fix my eyes on the hope that is in His word...that His grace is sufficient as I continually come before the throne of grace to ask for His mercy and help.

The mission trip has ended...and indeed it has taught me a greater dependency on His grace & love. But it's not really an end...in fact the end is the beginning of something new. I feel like I've just started this journey. But it will be a different journey, where I would need a greater dependency & guidance from Him...and furiously taking hold of His purpose & will for my life.

In my poorest state, I'm filled even more with the riches of His presence....til nothing's left of me, and only Him is seen....

Love & the Gospel

2011-10-29T01:39:00.010+10:00

This week, we have done so far 3 major activities:

1. Evangelism Training (ETS)

2. Helping with Medical Mission

3. Visiting small youth group

We traveled quite a few hours to reach Mt Sinai church, the place where the ETS is going to be held. It was my first time too sit under the teaching of "Rev.Alvin Toh" (this is the name displayed on the stage :p), otherwise they just call "Pastor Alvin"..hehe...

Jace and myself are helping with some registration on that day.

The teaching was super awesome! And the people were really attentive and responsive. They shouted a really loud "Amen!!" everytime!! so encouraged! Even some younger ones were participating too! And when it's time to pray....Wow!! this is really a praying church! They were just crying out to God, both young and old are fervent and I could feel God's presence just filled the whole room!

During our time there, we were hosted by the pastor & his family & friends...and we had a super yummy Korean meals...thank You, Lord! :)

Few days after, we went to help with the Relief Medical Mission that was held at Family of Believers Christian Church. There were rice/food packs, medicines, used clothes, and medical treatments for 100 families who live in the slump area. There were so many children with them! Myself and Jace had fun giving away packets of sweets to the children...they were so excited and happy! I love that looks on their faces :)

I was very blessed by the church volunteers who were helping with so much joy in their heart and faces. There were so much unity in that place, and for that moment, I feel that we are a church...our differences disappeared and we were just serving as one body of Christ! Seeing the people blessed, also really blessed my heart...indeed, there is so much joy in giving. And even though it's not much, but for these people, it really means a lot to have people who would care and pay attention to their needs.

It reminds me once again, that there is so much needs in the world...and in whatever scale, we can all play a part in being a part of the solution to those needs.

We are blessed, so that we can be a blessing..

Finally today, we went to visit a small youth group and we ministered to them through testimony, teaching, games, and our joy & laughter :D

We hope that the youth in this group will personally encounter God and experience genuine salvation. There is so much potential in the lives of these youth, and thank God for the opportunity for us to help out in this. :)

I thank God for His grace every single day here...He has protected us every time and He has also opening many doors for this ministry. I can really see the hand of God upon the lovely couple and this ministry...and it's been a great blessing and privilege for me to witness and take part in the wonderful move of God. I'm really loving the mission field! I love seeing God moves and the heart of God has never been clearer...He loves people!and His heart is reaching out to the lost, poor, broken, lonely...and the most loving thing that we can do is just sometimes meeting their practical needs, and also to share the good news to the people.

I hope that we can all join the vision and be a partner in this wonderful ministry... :)

This ministry draws a beautiful picture of what it means to share the Love of Christ and Share His Gospel.

Visiting the slump area & hospital

2011-10-24T16:24:00.006+10:00

We were invited to Pastor Jonaver Luklukan's birthday party yesterday, an amazing pastor whose life has been radically transformed by God and his life is still a walking miracle!! He shared about his life story and how God's grace and favor are so evident in his life as he does God's work. Was super blessed and inspired by this pastor, evangelist, missionary & gospel singer (yup, all in one!) :)

Then he took us to visit the slump area where it was flooded, the area where we will join the pastor for a disaster relief medical mission this coming Wednesday (so pray for us!). I was speechless when I saw their living condition, and apparently this happens every year during the rainy season and the water could not really subside, it would normally takes months. So they would built small wooden bridge along the houses so they can walk around...I can say it's really not easy to walk on those.. :p thank God we didn't fall into the water!

The government doesn't seem to be doing anything about this..and I'm thinking to myself, then how can these people's lives change?If no one cares, then who should be doing somethings about this...and I realised that it is the church that needs to step in and make a difference...and I'm very blessed seeing ministers of God who are reaching out to them and bring the bible into their houses. This is love in action, not just words. And a small act of kindness do really mean a lot to some of the people here.

Today I visited the hospital as a part of the hospital ministry by AFJC. I wore my new volunteer shirt for the 1st time :) and join them as they go into the different patient rooms. We talked and prayed with them, and showing a practical way to bless them by giving them a pack of refreshments.

What I love is the people here have beautiful hearts and they are very accepting and helpful (well, majority that I've met anyway...) :p and they are very receptive of the gospel. So most of them know about the gospel, and churches are everywhere along the road. But also at the same time, there were also so many cults and other strange beliefs...deception runs pretty strong in this nation. But nevertheless, I believe in the power of the true one God! and Truth always prevails! We need a revival in this nation!

Greetings from Manila!

2011-10-22T22:31:00.002+10:00

I can say that God is amazing!!! and mission is fun! I love seeing how God really grant the ministry His favor and grace, and being inspired by the workers of the harvest field (Alvin & Jace) with what they are doing so far.. and God has been opening many doors for them. Praise God!

I arrived in Manila on the 20th October, they picked me up from the airport and gosh!! Manila is such a big city..we were lost on our way, driving wasn't easy here and the rule is no rule! :)

It's a pretty populated city, and there are so many people on the road everywhere! so spent the day resting and did some groceries.

On Friday stayed at home, and helped to design an ID card! Haha...it's a new skill that I finally obtained :) spent quite a few hours doing it! Hahahaha...it taught me that in mission, you just need to do things that you've never done before. In the end, you'll gain a new skill :)

At night we spent some time praying and just seeking His face...love it!! and we're doing this almost every night that we can :) love it! love it! love it! I love His presence! :)

Today went scouting for presents for the Christmas event where the ministry will bless the children with toys..thank God for a fruitful day :)

And just heard some good news!! God is just opening new doors and there are some exciting things happening ahead...so stay tuned!! :D

Appreciate your prayers, for indeed the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few...there are a lot of needs here, and I pray that He will send His workers out to share His love and the good news :)

Just some things I've discovered here:

- Toilet ~ they call this "Comfort Room (CR)" hahaha...

- Eggs here are all white colour!!! No yellow eggs!

Blessings!!!

a revelation of His love & grace

2011-08-23T22:05:00.004+10:00

During a time of worship, I was once again reminded of His love & grace. His hand upon my life all these years...A revelation of His grace that saves me, grace that reaches out to me in hopeless situations. Grace that made a way, where it was impossible for me to have known Him. Grace that made a way for salvation...because of His great love, we are not perishing...but being transformed into His likeness.

As I remember how the Lord set up different circumstances in my life that I may find Him, despite of my ignorance, rebellion and resistance, it never made Him given up on me (thank You, Lord!)...Yet He still passionately, jealously pursue me, that I may know Him, to be in the relationship with my Creator, that I may escape the judgment of this world, to be saved and have eternal life....because of His great love...

Acts 17:26-27
From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

And all I can do, is to worship Him with the very life that He gave...

How great the grace that enables us to be called children of God, that we may call Him our Daddy..our loving Father..for this is what You came for...this is Your heartbeat....

Can you hear His heartbeat? it beats for every single child of Him to come home...

John 1:12-13

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. Children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

thank you!

2011-08-22T03:02:00.002+10:00

I had a mixed feeling leaving Brisbane, excited that I’ll be embarking on an adventure of faith, sad that I had to leave my home, my family in Christ....for now anyway.

Just would like to thank all my brothers and sisters who blessed me (you know who you are!), I’m thankful and will always remember that God’s love is evident through every one of you.
The gift that you gave is a prayer answered, a token of love, and the most important, it’s your offering unto the Lord. I’m thankful again for this family that God has placed in my life.

My heart is filled with joy, thankfulness and anticipation of the days ahead!!!!

The Lord is good, and His love endures forever...He is near to all who call upon His Name

into the storms..

2011-08-17T23:58:00.002+10:00

During my time with the Lord today, He was pointing something to me..even as I reflect on my situations, other people's situations.

I was reminded of Luke 8:22-24, where God was teaching me, that many times, as we choose to obey the voice of God, often it leads us straight into "storms". It might be a conflict, a problem, a sickness, an impossible situation...in the passage, Jesus was initiating the disciple to go over to the other side of the lake, and we know how the story goes...

He was encouraging me that in the midst of storms of my life, He's always with me. As I obey Him, He promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me. And I need to believe that..I understand that at times, it is difficult, when all you can see is the problem, and when it seems in the natural that there's no way out, but as in my situation..God has always assure me, that I need to just believe and trust Him.
Because when the disciples were afraid, Jesus question them to where their faith is?

Faith to believe who He really is, and to hold on to that...will help us to stay where God wants us to be.

Just a piece of revelation that I hope to encourage anyone who is the midst of storm, to know that Jesus is with you...never will He leave nor forsake you.

And I believe that sometimes only in going through those "storms" in our life, then we'll have a deeper revelation of who God truly is. That we may then glorify and praise His name.

The disciples said (Luke8:24)
"In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this?He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him."

This promised us that God is in control and He's bigger than any storms that may come into our lives.

another piece of jigsaw puzzle...

2011-07-17T17:39:00.004+10:00

This year has been such an exciting and important year in my life... there has been a few decisions made as I believe the Lord has led me to them.

A journey of faith, a season of trusting Him and to hold on to every single word of His promises.

Praise God for His grace that I was able to complete my Diploma of Counselling just this month..thank God for His strength and protection for all the times I drive from Brisbane to Maroochydore for that one year :)

And for the next season of my life, I will be doing a course with Ywam until next year April. Another piece of jigsaw puzzle that begins to unfold and reveal more of His plans for me.

I don't fully understand, but I choose to trust Him that He knows the best timing and ways.

There are greater things ahead...I look forward with anticipation and excitement of what would God has in store through my time in Ywam.

Having a mixed feeling about not being around my home church for a season of time, but what motivates me is that whatever I will learn in Ywam, I hope it can be used to bless the church even more...so I'm excited because of that! :)

So if you don't really see me around, well, not that I've left church..but I'll just be away for a while in my next adventure with God :) I believe this year is such a significant year for a lot of people where He is leading you towards your destiny in Him.

I'll try to keep updating my blog as my journey continues...

Let's hold on to this precious faith together!

Really....there is no life worth living if it's not for Him.

the greatest is Love

2011-04-18T15:08:00.002+10:00

I have always been praying that He will show me a deeper revelation of His love, for me and for others. And I find myself that there's a deeper place each time in His love.

The love of God...love that I could never be able to comprehend and fully understand. It's the love that cost Him His own Son, a price that we could never ever be able to return.

In my own journey of discovering God's love for myself, He does something amazing...He begin to show me His heart, and the love that He feels for others. It's as if I'm wearing a pair of new glasses and begin to see everything in a different light. His light...

I know it's not mine, not me at all... it's just Him, when He simply opens my heart and eyes. I see everything through a whole new pair of eyes.

It cause both grieve and joy...the grieve of seeing needs, hurting & broken hearts, but the joy of knowing God's heart for every one...that is Love.

And this Love, is not selfish, not demanding, not about me....it's the Love that takes away the attention on our self, it's the Love that gives, hopes, perseveres, kind, and gentle..always seeks to put others and seek for the best of others. This Love transcends all barriers, cultures and status. Love that cause us to give a piece of ourselves..just as how Christ gave all of Himself.

I can't get enough of this Love! I believe in this Love!

So I'll choose this Love, and may this Love overflows out my life.... I feel this will please and bless His heart :)

To my brothers & sisters (you know who you are!!) whom have shown the very same Love to someone in need, may the Lord fills you with more of His presence, that you may come to experience the depth of the love of Christ as it keeps overflowing more and more through your lives. I thank you for your heart, it encourages me deeply, and really see God in your words and deeds.

It's a privilege to have known you in this house of God :) I'm blessed by your heart :)

Choosing to Love

2011-03-30T20:15:00.003+10:00

The past few day I felt something different that's happening in me..I began to see the people on my left and on my right, how they have needs...
It feels like having a pair of eyes that you didn't have before and begin to see people in a different light...God's light...
I know that it's just a glimpse..of what it really is..but it is more than enough to get me down on my knees.

Pondering about it,I realize how much love, God's love is needed in the world, in every person..for it is the very center of what God is all about, and why the bible is written. it is because of Love that we do what we do.

But in a tragic way, the bible does say that in the last days, many hearts will grow cold, and there's selfishness, people who concern only about their own lives...

I pray that He'll keep us in His love, and that we choose to remain in that Love.
And that we will choose to Love, choose to see through the light of His love..
May He open our eyes to see the needs around us, no matter how small it is, and that God will empower you to meet that need .

I say, starting from today..choose to give Love

perfect love of God

2011-02-16T23:34:00.002+10:00

There is no fear in love, for perfect love cast out all fears...
Repeating again and again...all fears, must go in the presence of the perfect love of God. This truth has transformed me, and continue to transform me..
In different season of life that the Lord has lead me to...it never cease to amaze me how the truth of His words will encounter you so powerfully, and it's never the same every time. And I never grow tired in expecting how the truth sets me free everytime.

I've come to realize that it's the will of God for our lives, the life that He wants to give us, the abundance He desires to bless us with...through a series of encounters with the truth of His words, will take us from freedom to freedom.

It's purely the work of His Spirit within us, the bible said that it's working powerfully in us! How exciting is that?!!!

If there are things that I hate...I hate FEAR...BIG TIME!!!I hate what the enemy always try to steal, kill and destroy...I hate to see people of God tormented, oppressed, losing the fight of which they could have triumph in, I hate how fear is crippling people and stop them reaching the destiny that God has for them.

The truth that we are already VICTORIOUS, and we have the authority through Christ in us...the truth that we are sons and daughters of the Most High...the truth that He has given us everything that we need in order to triumph in every challenges...the truth that Jesus really has paid it all and it is now FINISHED...

The perfect love of God, that keeps us, strengthens us, empower us, and drives out every fears in our lives.

May He searches our hearts through and through...there should not be any fear there except the fear of God.

I pray that you'll be filled with His love until there's no more room for fear.

on this Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T11:50:00.002+10:00

2011...on this Valentine's Day, I woke up and said "Jesus, I Love You!"...decided to sing and dance for Him, to thank Him for His love, goodness, and grace :)

Then...taking the time to sing into the life of the man of God that He'll bring into my life :)

So here it is, a love song, a prayer to you...wherever you are, may the Lord lead and guide you in your journey of pursuing His will. May your heart be always soft and tender to listen to His voice, just like David in His worship...a man after God's heart...that's what I'm praying for, that you'll

be one who runs after Him all the days of your life.

And one day, I'll run besides you..cheering you on! Believing in you, hopes in you, supporting you in everything that you do.

a beautiful night

2011-02-09T23:46:00.003+10:00

Tonight I was on my way home from Maroochydore...was driving on the highway. It was pretty dark on the road, and there was hardly lights on the road.

It was a night like other nights where I was driving through the same road...seeing cars in front of me, and cars behind me, which was good because then the road was a lot brighter.

Then...I heard the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit, encouraging me that when I walk through the dark moments in my life, the life of His Spirit and Presence is like the car lights that will shine through and lead the way so I can see the path and not stumble.

The cars in front is where the Presence of God that will go before me and prepares the way, leading me to the right path, and all I need to is to follow that Light.

The cars behind is like the Lord who watches over me, coming and going...watching and protecting areas in my life which I might have not pay attention much.

At that moment, I offered my praise, thanksgiving for the love of God, His faithfulness, grace and mercy..all over again,coming back to that simple place of worship, delighting in His presence.

I looked up, the night skies and the stars....I could hear them praising His Majesty and Greatness. Even the creations sings the songs of praise unto His name.

It was a beautiful night :)

freedom

2011-02-06T23:30:00.006+10:00

I feel free...so much freedom...

freedom to be...

freedom to choose...

freedom to dream...

freedom to believe...

freedom to hope...

freedom to walk...

freedom to give,

freedom to receive...

freedom to love..

And I have chosen...

to love you...

2011.. a reflection

2011-02-02T23:07:00.006+10:00

2011 has been so far interesting..with a lot of things that are happening around the world, I do believe that it is the year that we need to even go deeper into His presence.

As many things are being shaken...and sometimes even the things in our lives, our faith are being shaken, may we learn to stand firm upon His words and persevere to grab hold of His promises.

It's definitely a new year, a new season, where my hunger deepens for more of Him in my life. I have come to know Him in a new way...and He's still revealing more...there's just so much about Him that I'll never grow weary to pursue.

I find that when we learn to surrender our lives and everything into His hands, it brings you to a place of freedom and great joy! having nothing, but yet possessing all things...

There are things that sometimes we hold on so tight, sometimes..not being aware ourselves that we have become used to it, and how perhaps we build different things around our lives and have at some point, we have stopped seeking and pursuing the lover of our soul.

"Come away with me"...can you hear Him calling you back into the secret place? with such a yearn and the jealousy of His love beckoning every heart and soul to draw closer to Him, that He might make Himself known.

Such grace and love, that even in our darkest and difficult moments, He comes and wanting to make Himself known....and I pray that in those times we will seek His face, because that's where He will meet with you and answer your needs.

2011...a year where I want to be so hungry for His presence like never before!

right to the edge

2010-09-04T01:04:00.002+10:00

Just having a thought...that at times the Lord waits until we are pushed right to the edge until we're about to fall...

then His hands would catch us and right there we see Him.

We then see His providence and saving hands...

I still believe... that those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed.

I then say to my soul, why downcast O, my soul? put your hope in God...be still and know that He is God.

an battle-full day

2010-09-02T00:24:00.003+10:00

My first class today! :) so excited! not too sure what to expect..and oh dear how God has a different things in mind about my day today. I thought that I would just leave the house, drive there and that's about it.

Started my day with God's promises and His presence :) not knowing that the moment there I had would help me throughout the day. Had a frantic afternoon running around to get something settled, anxiety almost creep in, but I was just praying throughout..the battle for my peace.

Then started driving to Maroochydore, where the class is (haha!), it was about 115kms away, and in the highway, had this crazy blind driver almost ran into my car...had a moment there..but praise God it didn't happen...fear almost creep in...and I was praying throughout...the battle for my peace.

I realized that everyday is a battle, where our attitude must be one where we would proclaim the truth in the face of challenges, taking hold of His promises of our inheritance. The Lord was teaching me, that if I stay passive, the enemy that tries to steal, kill and destroy our inheritance would actually succeed in that. He has given us all that we need to overcome, His words that's the sword of the Spirit, and to stand, putting on the whole armor of God. Passivity and complacency will leave us defeated and helpless, where His heart is for us to be victorious and to be conquerors in Him who gives us strength.

It was an awakening in my Spirit, it's time to take hold of the inheritance of God's promises, possessing the enemy's gates and walking into the promise land.

I know that the battle has been won, now I just need to declare the victory in the face of the enemy.

Pray unceasingly for all saints, for everything and anything, in this way we are paving the way for the Kingdom to come on earth, and to carry each other's burden. What a great responsibility and privilege!

Hmm, aside from that, I had a great class meeting!! Met a group of people who are passionate about what they want to do in life, and that they are actually doing it. Learning a lot. Time where something was sparked within me...who knows what He can do through this? But need to catch up on few weeks studies..hehe...Lord, help! :)

in the secret place

2010-08-31T00:01:00.006+10:00

The journey of trust has been a difficult yet most wonderful experience in my walk with Him.

Recently had a major changes of things in my life, how I met crossroads, seeking the Lord for a fresh new direction ahead, etc..etc..u name it! :p

Looking back, I thank God for His presence with me...a lot times, the answers are not necessarily important, but knowing that He's with me, that's sometimes enough.

So even though I'm still left with many uncertainties with the decisions that I made, but never in my life that I felt so certain of what I'm doing.

It is through this journey where I was to give up everything to Him, I mean everything...but it's a choice that I make each time. The pain of dying to self, over and over again...that's taking up the cross to really follow His footsteps. I know what the cost is, and I guess, I have decided that whatever it takes, I would say 'Yes, Lord' to whatever He ask me to, because I know that through those things, He revealed Himself more, and I'm seeing Him more in my life.

It is through this difficult journey that I've discovered a secret place, a place where I can rest, fully assured and to dwell, filled with so much of His peace and joy.And in that secret place, there's so much more...

In that secret place,i'm never so desperate and hungry for more of Him in my life before, that the quest for His presence in my life, to know Him, to hear what He's saying, what His heart beats for..it means the world to me :) and the Lord is faithful, so good...that He never disappoint me.

My very heart desire is to come closer to Him, but yet I found that it's the most scariest experience that I have ever known. To hear His heart beat when He reveals Himself, the Holiness of who He is, this tiny and fragile heart that I have, sometimes it feels like it's going to explode to pieces, the intensity of His love..no one would be able to comprehend.

Sometimes I wonder if I could live through if I come to feel what He feels..

I realize that it's all by the grace, to approach His throne and come before Him.

In that secret place, there's the Father's heart, where I felt and heard a cry...a cry for the lost, the broken, the poor. It overwhelms me many times, for I find myself helpless and useless at times, asking myself, what can I do? what do You want me to do? then I fell on my knees, and begin to express the cries of the Father's heart for the people He brought into my heart. I am crying out for the Father's will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven, as how He purpose it to be.

Can you hear the cries of His heart? Enter the secret place...it's the place where He wants you to be..

the past one week

2009-08-08T21:25:00.003+10:00

From last week Wednesday until this week Friday, I was officially sick!haha!that would be my 1st record of being sick that long.really not nice, staying at home, feels weak and all you want to do is sleep.those were the times when I really wanted my Mom to be here :p

Many things I've learned during that time :

1) Now I know what a sick person goes through, seriously..sometimes you take health for granted, and when you get really sick like that, then you begin to take it more seriously. So I promise God and myself, that I will..be extra careful in looking after myself, that includes no more too late nights!!!!

2)On Friday last week, I thought I was recovering...and I just simply take pride that I could take care of myself well and I dont need anyone else. Haha, I was wrong about it..just on Sunday morning waking up with chest pain, and I was crying all over (such a baby, yes..I know..)and the 1st person I rang was Boy!yeah, I knew I could count on him at all times :) thank u, bro!!
And then two wonderful sisters sent me and accompany me in the hospital, they even visited and cooked porridge for me :) the wonderful love of the family of God.
Hehe...it was like simply God proves me wrong, about not needing other people...yeah :) thank you, Lord, for again teaching me..that we need each other.

"In a world where selfishness is what is all about...I dont need you, and you dont need me..let's just live our lives well for ourselves, me myself and I first, and that all that matters...*sigh*...where love has grown cold, and what's left is just love for self...God says it otherwise, we need to learn to love one another, put others above ourselves, always think of how we can meet the needs of other people..." well, something that I always pray for, to have the love of God growing in my heart..

3)I realised how blessed and loved I am by God. how fortunate that God has placed me in a good family, and good place like Australia, having the family of God around me...
and when I'm sick, I have access to medications, food, all that I need to recover...
Just had some thoughts when I was praying for my sickness...how many people out there, who died, simply because they dont have access to medicine and food?who would look after them?aren't we God's children are also responsible to look after the orphans and widdows?isn't this the religion that God approves?
where has the sense to fight for injustice has gone?isnt's that reflecting who God is?the God of justice?why aren't our heart breaking anymore when we hear and see these things happening in the world?

All the questions stays in my mind...I dont have all the answers...

Lord, please break our hearts...don't let it grow cold, fill it with Your compassion..let love be the reason behind everything that we do. Help us to live our lives that will bring glory to Your name.

Remind us, Lord...that we are here on a mission, to be Your hands, Your feet, Your mouth, Your everything...reflecting who You are!I pray this over everyone who are reading this right now..do a deeeper work in our hearts, Lord..In Jesus name, Amen! :)

sick..

2009-07-29T20:38:00.002+10:00

Yah, today I have fever and headache, feeling very miserable actually in the morning...*sigh*
Waking up every 15 minutes, which feels like been hours...and finally at 11am I got up from my bed, trying to have something to eat, eventhough I have no appetite at all.

All I could think of is...Do I have the *pig* syndrome?hahaha...yeah, sometimes I found myself exagerating too much of a small thing.
Anway, when seeking God, was really praying and rebuking the flu to go away..haha...
In that moment, I just knew that God is with me, and even if I have to go through some terrible sickness, well, I'm not afraid....I'm ready to go through it, simply because God will be there with me.

So went to this doctor at Sunnybank, and he advised me to take Panadol and have plenty of rest. I was banned from working for the next 2 days...hmm..should I rejoice??haha...but not when you're sick though... :(
Hopefully the next 2 days will be fruitful..planning to do some house work, watch DVD, read books...today managed to get plenty of groceries and cooked some porridge. Hahaha...I like to be prepared :p

Hmm..time to relax now... :)

fix my eyes...

2009-07-25T22:30:00.002+10:00

To fix my eyes on Jesus...

Something that I've been trying to do again and again, it's a constant awareness and reminder in my life, when I'm in the storms of life. When life brings uncertainty and confusions, again, it's like a wake up call to my heart, to once again look to Jesus.

When I come to Him with my questions, He didn't give me the answers, rather, He would gently turn my focus and attention back to Him...and it's wonderful how His peace would surround me and no longer that an answer is needed, but the fact that Jesus is there with me.

Yeah, it's always been a mystery and wonder, the ways of God in our lives, that I think it's too high for our small brain to comprehend.
There's always a need to seek, to behold, and to have a revelation of the God we serve.

And I always feel that God loves it when we seek Him, when we simply trust Him, when we come like little children, who just would have faith in who He is.

Today, had a chat with a beautiful woman of God, even it was short, but it was enough to remind me again that God is good, and that He is working in people's lives, responding and always reaching out to them...in the hope that they may find Him and seek Him.
She said this about God, whom we cannot ever be understood and discovered fully, just because the awesomeness and bigness of who He is, even I cant really explain with words who He really is.....except for some aspects that I have experienced in my life or the revelation of Him in different moments of life.

The thought that God is so so much more..and there's far more greater things about Him, wonderful, beautiful, amazing things...kind of stir my heart to want to seek Him more, to discover Him, to know Him, that would be a great priviledge and enough reason to live for.
And it excites me to know that God is wanting, perhaps waiting to be found...and to reveal who He is...

I really want to know ...this Saviour, who has died and redeemed me, who promises a life of abundance and purpose....intimately, like never been before, to share what's in His heart.

I consider it a priviledge, to be able to enter into His presence...a reminder to give thanks, not to take it for granted...and at all times, I need to tremble in His presence, fear Him, love Him, wholeheartedly and committed to Him.
For God sees the heart of men, and I want to be found, as a daughter, who is looking and fixing her eyes to her Saviour, Jesus...to behold Jesus is to behold the Father.

I want this intimacy, more than anything else...

expression of the heart

2009-07-19T00:05:00.001+10:00

Sometimes I can't find the words to describe how I feel....

Well, this song express it all..

preparation

2009-07-13T11:45:00.002+10:00

I was preparing for the last 2 weeks for the singing performance that I did just yesterday. I've probably been listening to the same song for more than 100 times by now!haha...trying my best to give what I have. I mean singing has always been something that I use to express myself, either through P&W songs, or even other songs...it somehow able to communicate and express the emotions/thoughts on certain things/situations..u know..hehe..

Anyway, been thinking that, man!!!! for that one simple performance, I needed to invest many hours in preparation...now I understand how stressful it can be for those perfomers who have even bigger pressure!
It was quite a stressful thing for me..haha...cos I needed myself to be sure that I have tried and done my best to execute the song, even with the limitation that I have.

Praise God! that the peace of God and His grace, that on that day, I was quite happy...I didnt forget any of the words, and just felt really happy that with Him, there is that new confidence and grace to go through all things.
You might think, why would God even care about me singing a song?such a small thing!I'm sure that God has other better thing to think about!
I can say that you are wrong!
He cares even to the smallest and the fine prints of your life...yes!! I really believe this! so that's why in everything that I do, I can come to Him in prayer, knowing that my Heavenly Father looks down from heaven and He hears me..no matter how foolish the prayer can be sometimes.
And I know that His Spirit is in me, to be with me, and I have fellowship with Him..so close and intimate.

Through it all, also made me think...
How much preparation are we investing for the eternal life to come?Are we make it such a priority in our lives and are we investing enough time and effort in building what is eternal rather than what is temporary.
Again, it's a wake up call for my heart and mind, to brush off things that are not a BIG deal...they said, Don't sweat the small stuff!

I believe it's time, starting from where we are, to begin to respond to the call of God in our lives.
And it starts with Seeking Him with all your heart, He wants everything in our lives to come under the Lordship of Christ...yes, even the small things...the fine details.
It's still a journey for me, but it's a journey worth to take. To respond and come boldly before His throne of grace. Don't let fear or shame drives you away, but again, maybe it will hurts at times, but know that God love you jealously, passionately, that He wants the best for your life.
A lot of the times, we just simply dont trust Him enough, to be able to take care of things in our lives...and there we are, trying to take things into our own hands, and things get worse, then only we come to Him again...
Eventhough this happens, also..always know that He is ever ready to receive us back when we come with the sincerity and humble heart. That is a heart that attracts God, a heart that is broken and humble before Him.

And I'm praying for all of us, that we really need to have that transparency and honesty before God...don't hide things in the dark!
Ps Wen An said this in his sermon, that "the things we hide in the dark, it will actually become the bondage in our lives."
God sees everything....deeper through out motives and desires.
So why hide?come to Him, and know that His grace is sufficient in all things.

Remember, that the truth of His word sets us free.

taste and see...

2009-07-05T22:38:00.001+10:00

Taste and see that the Lord is good... Psalm 34:8

this truth keeps ringing in my ears, and in my heart, I knew that God is reminding me again, that the time is coming where God will once again show that He is good...
I will experience and see the goodness of God in my life :) He loves giving wonderful surprises to His children, and I can testify how His ways are the best, according to His perfect will and timing.

I think sometimes the problem is that, we are lacking in our faith to fully entrust everything into His hands, fear rob us away from the best thing..and we settle only for the good things...there are a lot of good things, but the BEST only comes from the hand of our heavenly Father, who loves to give good gifts to His children.
And sometimes we lack the patience to wait upon the Lord's timing, taking things into our own hands, and trying to accomplish our own plan, without consulting and seeking God.

It's a been a wonderful journey with my Saviour and Lord, and it's not that I have never doubted or not trusting Him...but the grace of God, who understand our weakness and limitations...continues to encourage and lift me up from my situations, even when I fail Him, His everlasting and passionate love kept me, accepted me, restored and continue to guide me.

This season of my life, felt so much closer to Him than ever before..every moment, my mind was awake to His presence, and feels so filled and full ! He is enough for me...He lives in me, and I can turn to Him at all times.
Jesus' love is so wonderful, and I am longing even more to be closer to Him...to be in the secret place with the Lord, just simply being with Him.
Closer to God's heart, is what I desire...nothing else matters.

There is always a price to pay in pursuing this intimacy with God, but it's worth it!!! I have never stop wanting more of Him, knowing Him more and to live in His presence every moment.
A new hunger, a new season of seeking the face of God...and centering my life upon Him.
When He is the center, everything else seems to fade and amazingly, it brings me to a new freedom in Him.
I know this will require me to come daily to the Cross of Christ..surrendering my life, humbling myself, repenting and being washed clean again by the blood of Christ.
And it is a choice, that starts with desire...

I dare you to make this your prayer... :)

conflicts

2009-06-29T21:15:00.002+10:00

Today afternoon had a good time cleaning the house....wow, must be God! cleaning the house gives me joy :) hehe, used to be something I never like doing.
It's time for me to clean and tidy up my life, inside and outside.
I could really feel God was smiling at me when I rub those dirty floor, wiped the kitchen bench, the bathroom mirror, vacuuming the house..haha... seriously! You guys should try it!!! ;p

Anyway, back to what I want to say..
I had an uninterrupted time reading a Christian counselling book about
conflicts in relationship.
(Do you have this?)
Well, I do have it from time to time, and I want to understand how can we even get involved/creates conflict ourselves, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally.
I guess my point here is I want to know why, so I can get a better understanding of how to solve one...the world will be a better place without them.

Just small things that I took out of the book for us to ponder and reflect, ask God to change us and begin to recognise, that sometimes, when conflicts are unavoidable...we can first and foremost change our attitude and get it right!
When we are at peace with God, then we can get it right...so time of reflection and Holy Spirit searching our heart is crucial.

See if you recognise some of these...

Difficult behaviours :

1.Abrasive Personalities
arrogant, frequently cynical, insensitive, intimidating, inclined to explode in anger when they don't get their way.

2.Complainers
find fault with everything,very verbal but never do anything about their complaints because
feel powerless or lack of courage to take responsibility.

3.Silent-unresponsive Individuals
difficult because they say very little,rarely reveal what they think or do behind the scenes,not able to follow through their promises.

4.Negative Personalities
pessimistic attitude,criticize, refuse to cooperate or try.

5.The Know-it-all Experts
pompous, condescending,verbose,unwilling to cooperate

6.Indecisive people
never act/make decisions until they can be absolutely sure, as a result almost never take
action, also a control freak,difficult to handle, "high maintenance relationship"

grace that's sufficient

2009-06-21T22:38:00.002+10:00

Today, it hits me...

(Romans 8:28)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose...

Again and again, this truth comes again into my life. And I felt very humbled and undeserving, knowing very well that I make mistakes, so imperfect in many ways, but the grace of God is so abounds in all situations. I thought that I could try to always do things right, hiding my flaws..but God who sees everything, lift me up in my circumstances by His grace.

It's still a mystery to me until today, how the grace of God...unmerited favor, just because the Father's heart for every single creation, the unconditional love, His embrace towards every one who would turn to Him...
What is this grace? what is this love? what my mind and heart could not comprehend..

All I can say, is "thank You, Jesus..."
I will stop trying doing things as to earn Your love, knowing that You love me, not because what I can do, but because You choose to.
I will cast all cares unto You, because I know that You care, and You want to give what's best for me.
I will acknowledge that I cant do anything on my own, I need Your grace at all times...and I know that Your grace is sufficient at all times and abounds.

rainbow

2009-06-03T22:24:00.003+10:00

This morning on my way to work, as I was driving, my head suddenly turn to the skies..
and there it was...beautiful rainbow !! :) love it! it made my day, was smilling all the way.
And I said "Thank You, Lord..for reminding me today that You are faithful and Your promises stands!" Isn't He so beautiful?

2009-05-24T22:52:00.003+10:00

Deuteronomy 4:24

"For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God"

This song has again reminded me how jealous God is over my heart, again and again I found God is digging real deep inside my heart, shedding His light over everything...and wanting it all! A time to surrender and lay down all things at the feet of my Maker.

I can really say, that He won't relent until He has all of me! The beauty of His grace...!

BIG GOD...small me

2009-05-20T22:06:00.003+10:00

Job 38:1-5

The the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said :

"Who is this that darkens My counsel with words without knowledge?

Brace yourself like a man, I will question you, and you shall answer Me.

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell Me,if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions?Surely you know!

Who stretched a measuring line across it?

I was reading the verse and ponder about it..and felt that God was really speaking to me through this. Everytime I ask why?when?...then again I remember the greatness of God and His sovereignity over all things. And why do I ask Him why and when? when He has said that all things are made beautiful in its own time...God's time.

Again, He reminded me that I dont have to understand everything, especially when things are going in a wrong direction, and it brings you towards a journey where you didn't anticipate
before.

Times when it's easy to lose hope and focus on the cross, times in the valley, in the darkness, in the storm of life....those times when God will be who He is...the great I AM, who is present and will be..in those times, if we just turn our eyes to Him, and cling on to Him.

When we are small and weak, it magnifies how big and strong He is.

So it's a lesson to learn to trust Him, and surrender my days to come into His hand...
I believe that through times like this, just like Job, who trusted God in his unwavering faith, against all odds..and the result, God reveals Himself to him in a deeper way, and his faith grew even more...his faith was proven to be genuine, faith that did not burn when it went through the fire of trials and testing.

Job 42:1-2,5-6

Then Job replied to the Lord:

"I know that You can do all things, no plan of Yours can be thwarted."

"My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes"

broken and empty

2009-05-18T21:44:00.002+10:00

If I can say what God is desiring of me at this moment, is that for me to be broken and empty. I remember the prayer I made quite a while ago : I want to have His heartbeat, and to have a heart of love and compassion...just like Jesus, out of His love for us, that He did what He did..

And God is working that in my life, I believe...who knows the ways that God use to accomplish His plan, that I can never fully figure out or understand. But one thing I believe, that it is the best...
Even now, I still dont understand why the hand of God is upon me, breaking the shell of pride, selfishness, and pulling out the root of my fleshly desires...and when He put them in the light, when He alllows me to see them...a deeper realisation of how ugly, unworthy, undeserving I am..
Before a Holy God...I am just nothing.I had to come in repentance of my sins, because only towards Him that I will only sin.Before a Holy and Righteous God, how can I brag about my good deeds and who I am?

I feel so small...and God is so big..once again I come to experience the glimpse of the majestic and glorious of who He is.I know that there's still more than this...
And in the presence of a Holy God, I began to tremble...realising that how fragile our life is, and if it's not by the mercy and grace of God, we are doomed!

How can one be wise in his/her own eyes...in the presence of One who made the universe and everything in it?

How can one be strong in his/her own strength...in the presence of Almighty God who sits on the throne, with all the dominion and powers at His feet?

How can one say that he/she is good...in the presence of Holy and Righteous God who is perfect in all His ways, and there is no darkness at all in Him?

Now I understand why David said in Psalm 51:17...
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God You will not despise.."

Somehow in our lack, we are filled...in our brokeness, we are restored...in our loneliness, we are comforted....the grace of God that is made perfect in our weakness.

In times like this, when I know that hand of God is upon me, I will rejoice...why need to be downcast O, my soul? put your hope in God, Your Saviour...and rejoice :)

2009-05-17T22:52:00.001+10:00

Love Letter from WiddlyTinks.com

grace overflows

2009-05-12T23:17:00.002+10:00

Lately God is doing something in my heart, wanting to bring a real change of my character. The more I want to be good, but the bad always comes out..the more I want to do good, but instead always does the wrong thing! I wonder why it seems that when I want to turn left, but I found myself taking the right turn.....duh!

But somehow in the midst of my own chaotic world, I know that God is up to something.And in the midst of all that, faith is the only thing I have.Trying to move forward in the midst of uncertainties, and continuing the hope and His promises for my life.

And I began to see the light...that He is really wanting to do the real work in my life,showing me that I really need Him for that change. And nothing in my own stregth is good enough to do that.
The more He shows me who I really am, in the light of who He is...man!! the only way to describe is, really feel like a "worm"..small, ugly, and ...dont really like what I see...
Not that I dont love myself, but when I see the sin in my heart, my heart just grieves...and as much as I dont want to sin, but knowing that it lives inside me, always at war with what the Spirit of God wants to do...**sigh***

Tonight during PM, I felt so unworthy, the feeling that I am very small, in the presence of a Holy and Almighty God...feeling sinful, and just very small...
Then it comes...the grace overflowing from the throne of heaven, filling up every fiber of my being.Just couldnt help but to cry...felt so undeserving, and at the same time, knowing that His love will never leave me.

His grace tells me that I am loved, it tells me that I've been forgiven, accepted, and being made clean.And it's not because of who I am or what I do, but simply because of what He has done.
There in that place, I found peace again and the love of God that so deeply touched me and will continue to show itself in my life..this I really believe.

So I know now, that His grace will be made sufficient in my life. And as I offer my life to Him, then I know that I am in a good hand of my Maker :)

The best thing is..this grace is freely given to whoever needs it.

my prayer

2009-05-06T00:09:00.003+10:00

My prayer is not that God takes away all my troubles, but that He will set me free from myself.....
The more I see myself and what's inside of me, I am grieved...and I dont really like what I see, not a pretty sight. And the more I realise that I need His Holy Spirit to work through me, to change me, and to help me. The more too I realise how fragile and weak my heart and human spirit is, and without His grace, I'd be lost and confused..not sure where would I end up.

My prayer is not that God protects me from all troubles, but that He will break the inside of me, so that I will die to myself, only having the life of Christ in me. The constant struggles inside, between my flesh nature and the Spirit life. At times, I am weak, made mistakes, wrong choices, following the flesh...and again, I am grieved. I cry out to Him who is able to save me and give me the strength to overcome...Jesus...the name above all names, My Saviour alone...Lifegiver...Comforter, who is forever faithful, loving and just.
How I desire to be more and more like Him...

And now my prayer is that, He will cleanse my everyday, work through my heart that it will become pure and blameless, filling it with a desire for Him..To know His heart more, that I may too have a heart like His...a heart filled with compassion and love.
I know I have a lot of work to do, and God has a lot to do too...but I do believe with all my heart, that He will grant me the strength and grace all the way, as I lean upon Him.

My prayer too that I will not live my life just for myself, but that as God breaks, mould,change, and matures...it will be a fragrant offering, outpouring to others.To be blessing and encouragement to as many people as possible.

Now, Lord..please help me.

resting

2009-05-04T23:05:00.002+10:00

Had a really good of rest today.... and just being able to enjoy the presence of God without any distractions! Still learning to cast all my cares unto Him, and the more I do, the lighter my burdens are, and the more rest that I have in my heart.Problems and uncertainties seems not to matter anymore, and everythings fades away in the light of who He is.

It's a daily decision that I need to make, now...will try to remind myself, to always..at the end of the day, to cast all my cares for the day to Him..and taking the rest that He intend me to have in Him. There is so much peace that overflows when I'm in that place of rest with Him, the peace that surpasses all understanding, goes beyond everything else. It stills my heart, to be attentive to listen to Him, to what He wants to speak.

Felt that He is calling me closer...deeper...yes, it will come with a price.I guess I've resolved that I am willing...and I know that whatever things that I may go through, it will be worthwile.I know at times that my flesh may be weak, but I am confident in the Spirit that's in me. He will be my Helper and Counsellor.

Friends...take His yoke and rest in Him, cast all your cares unto His, for the simple fact that He cares for you, more than you can ever imagine.

nothing..

2009-05-03T23:58:00.002+10:00

nothing really satisfies, but being in the presence of God

there is a deep sense of awe, holiness, love, grace, and mercy....

fill the heart so much, that the flesh can't take it

and all I can do is weep...

when God made you...

2009-05-02T00:11:00.004+10:00

Encouraged myself today through His promises over my life. Again and again I do need to remind myself, because worries and distractions can take over the focus on Him.
Hmm...listened to beautiful songs, written by a couple who has trusted God to provide and to make a way for them. Through their faith in God, they are now able to testify about the faithfulness of God and how everything works out for His good purpose for our lives.

It's one of my heart desire, to see Jesus work through every area of my life, so that my life can bring Him glory. Giving the pen of my life to Him, and allow Him to write the best story ever...I have nothing to loose, when I have Jesus..nothing to fear, when I have Jesus..nothing I can't give, when I have Jesus...and nothing I can't have, when I have Jesus.

Jesus, my all in all...

(from the song) this I want to say ...
"When God made you, He must have been thinking of me too.." ^_^

here with me..

2009-04-26T22:39:00.004+10:00

It has been rather a quiet times in my life, good that I have more time to ponder about stuff. After OC, trying to digest and apply things in my life about what God has spoken.
Challenging to really do things, and to keep it consistent...need the grace of God..a lot!!

So getting back into the routine of life, the repeated cycle of work and weekends, was affecting me a bit. Felt a bit restless for a while, well..I really almost can't stand routines for too long..haha..just need some new things. So God has really helped me a lot in how to be still before Him and to wait on Him on a lot of things and decision making.

Today, He reassures me that He is with me. And I could really feel His embrace, His presence, His love..very much in me.Once again He make known His presence in my life, when times I forget and not aware of Him.
Made me realise that I've not been looking and fixing my eyes upon Jesus, and a lot things in life,ministry, goals and plans, can really clutter my mind and heart, until there's no more room for Him, just Him, without other things attached.
I began to really ask God to once again search my heart, and to create again that broken and contriteness of heart towards Him...and again, I realise, that I may want so many things to feel fulfilled, but one thing that I really need, is Him in my life..more and more.

Listened to a sermon by John Bevere just now, and again, God was speaking to me..and again, I needed to repent and come back to Him, and began to seek Him again in a deeper way.

Time to seek the face of God...

I'm Back! A Note for the New Year!

2009-02-10T01:48:00.003+10:00

Haihh...it's been a while since the last time I wrote on this blog.

Still having my holiday here in Indo with family, next week leaving to KK, Singapore and KL, before I return to Brissie...hope the weather will be cooler by then.

Been having a really great time here with family..man!! there's none like them!!! I praise God for them, been really fortunate to have my mom and dad, bro and sis who never stop looking after me...they are priceless!!!

The past year has been a wonderful year, lots of things happened, made some mistakes, learn so much, and thank God that I'm still where I am, and by God's grace, been able to just continue to walk, and follow where He is leading...maybe I've turned left and right, made some detours, u-turns, still...all I can see is the mercy of God again and again... thank you, Jesus :)

Well, this year I felt God is challenging me to believe that He is all that I need! Everything that I need, yup...still learning the art of letting go and let God.. :)
I know in my heart that no matter what happens, God is there with me, and I will see Him through the eyes of faith, not through my natural eyes and senses.
Learning that no mater how quiet God may seems, and how dark the days ahead, but God is still God, He is still who He says He is....the Great I Am, the past, present and future...from the beginning to the end....
Learning to cling on His word and let faith guides, it feels like walking in the dark, but yet, you know it somehow that each step that you take will land on a firm ground...you tripped and fall sometimes, but yet, there's still a road ahead where the feet will step on towards the journey ahead, the hope of reaching to the final destination, where finally the light shines, and the eyes see that it has been worthwhile to continue the journey and not giving up!

Anticipating what the year will bring...believing for the goodness and the hand of God even more upon my life...

Praying for those who are waiting upon God, that this year will bring a new revelation of His goodness and grace upon your life...

Time to sleep now..hehehe...

song for rainy days..

2008-11-23T22:04:00.002+10:00

Hi, Jackie

This one here is for you...

A Dream

2008-11-08T23:39:00.002+10:00

This is for you, sister...
may the song encourages you in walking the walk that He has set for you.
This would be my prayer for you :)

to encourage you,my friend..

2008-10-03T00:39:00.003+10:00

Dearest my good and cherished friend in Singapore....
I believe that God will be with you in all things...you are in a good hand, as you look to Him and continue to trust Him with your life...

Hope this song will encourage you..to look up, and move forward with God wherever He guides you...Love ya!!

a time to trust

2008-10-02T00:10:00.008+10:00

My last moment with my uncle in 2007...
Last week I lost an uncle...he passed away of heart failure, and I was feeling down....whenever I think about him, how he left this world in a quite tragic way. Nothing was going right for him..his family even left him...and he was alone..

Just couldnt bear the thought, and the question of where he would go after this life? what would happen to his life?felt really

helpless..and there's a lot of questions going on in my mind.

The moment I heard the news, I felt that at that moment, God was with me....and I could feel His comfort and peace surrounding me. Somehow, eventhough I do have questions which I dont have the anwers, but it seems that it doesnt matter at all. Felt that as I read the bible, God just reminding me that He is a Righteous God and a Just God...His ways are all just and right...

And His ways are always higher than mine..so I realised that I wont be able to understand things, with my limitations. And only God who knows and understand everything. When I look to Him, it seems that I could just put everything and trust Him with the outcome. Everything else fades in the light of His face.

Another season of learning to trust God and to worship Him for who He is in all circumstances.

Brekkie today at Campos Coffee

2008-09-14T01:16:00.004+10:00

Started this morning with breakfast, well, maybe lunch almost..haha...with Serene at Campos Coffee at Fortitude Valley.

I'd recommend this place if you are a coffee lover, and like going to cafes'....

The coffee here is rich, stronger compares to Italian style coffee, but they did it really well...it left a nice taste afterwards...just right!Very satisfied!

anyone knows?

2008-09-11T00:09:00.002+10:00

Looking for a nice chinese love song for dad or mom....

the journey

2008-09-07T21:46:00.001+10:00

Somehow the journey of loss, disappointment and pain leads me closer to the heart of God. It became a lesson of what it means to be faithful and to continually fix
my eyes on Jesus.
A mark of being a disciple of Christ, to take up my daily cross and follow Him.
A journey in discovering God's faithfulness, love, mercy and grace.

faithful

2008-08-26T22:26:00.004+10:00

The past weeks been a different season in my walk with God, not too sure how to describe it.
Not sure how to start too, but it's a time of rediscovering again a new kind of purpose, new kind of passion, new kind of perspectives. My ideas, plans, mindsets are challenged and I began to question in the light of God's truth, to really know and understand what it truly true.
A time where I felt there's a lot of things inside of me begin to die..and I really felt as if I'm just dying in the inside, felt no strength and can't do anything about it.
All I can do is to cry out to God.

Just a like a flower that begins to wither up and dried up..and all in a sudden, felt so poor, so broken, so helpless, realised that I'm really nothing.
It's when the revelation of how much I really need Him, that I cant live without Him, the thought of being without God scares me more than ever.
Felt very fragile, and didnt really like what I'm seeing inside of me. It's almost like I could see so much of the weaknesses and the frailty of my life and who I am, but at the same time, I'm yearning too for the Christlikeness to be a part of being who I am. It's the constant struggle and battle at all times. When that realisation hits, felt I'm torn between two worlds.

Also, maybe a bit restless too in my heart...and He knows it. And felt overwhelmed how patient and loving God is, He comforted and gave me peace. Eventhough the future is so uncertain, but all I know that His words stand forever.

And my prayer is that, I want to be found faithfully walking with Him, worshipping Him, and growing in my love for Him, nothing else really...nothing matters anymore, when finally my eyes have seen Him. He became the answers, the motivation, and there's nothing that you will not do if it's for Him. It all comes down to Him, to Him alone..our Saviour Jesus Christ.

Just to be found faithful to Him...forever.

my best friend's wedding

2008-08-21T23:09:00.004+10:00

Two more days it'll be Jos' n Fab's wedding! Really happy for both of them. They really deserve each other. It's funny how they look alike too. Some says that only happens after you got married, so perhaps this shows somehow that they are a match made in heaven.. :)

Congratulation, my good friend..hope the blessing of God is upon your life, and as you embark on this new journey, may you discover more His purpose and calling for your life.
Remember, you are whole in Christ!

Until our next breakfast date...take care and enjoy yourself!!!

Love you lots, Jos!!!

Dumpling

2008-08-19T23:43:00.007+10:00

Well, just changed again the layout of my blog..haha...

Tonight went over to Fion's mansion at EMP, the place where I used to live few years back. Had some dumplings, and I've gained a new skill through that...how to wrap a dumpling!! hahaha..
It was a simple, quick, and nice dinner...what else can you ask??
Not to mention that the Olympic was on...so left the place quite late.

Suddenly I mentioned about the next coming Olympic, which will be in 2012...that's 4 years from now!
Where would everyone be?and how's life would be in 4 years time?
Made me think...cos answer that came out of my mouth is (without thinking..).."Hmm, definitely I'll be married by then...and I'd imagine that they will too.."
Now that I sort of thinking over what I have just said...again, realised how small my expectation of life is! It seems to be the next thing in life, and to be what life is all about almost..scary!!! if you know what I mean...

I think it's time now to dream, to expect big things in life, maybe somewhere that dreams and expectations have just slipped through the mundane and routines of life...

I'm sure that's not what God has in mind the life that He has planned for me...eventhough they are part of life's journey..but it's not the whole thing.

There's more..and so much more...

Ephesians 3:20

Dedicated to Life Group

2008-06-25T23:01:00.001+10:00

Tonight went for the movie Narnia the Prince Caspian..it was a great atmosphere! I think having the church around you, just felt very much like home. I loved it!!! Well, the movie was good..just the ending a bit hanging..hehe...guess it will continue to part 3 in the future.

Well, the main thing that I want to share is what happened throughout the day..God really spoke into my heart and teaching me about being a blessing...

At the same time that I saw the blessings, He challenged me to even be a blessing in the same way.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to mention few ones, as I learned so much from them tonight, and how God is challenging me to go to a greater distance in my action towards one another. It was the love of God that I encounter tonight, and how it even made more sense of what the community is all about. Of course there are many others too...but this time I want to mention the 3 special people that taught me a lesson tonight :

Steven Lee
I was trying to arrange for transport, for a kid that I knew, and after going around few people, finally I thought of Steven who works at Acacia Ridge! Thank God for His providence...and Steven agreed immediately!! Brother, I really admire your generosity and such a huge heart to serve and help others. It's a very admirable thing about you, and I'm thankful and very humbled to be able to learn so much from you.It wasnt the only time that I've asked help from you, and it was the same repsonse that you gave. You do have a great heart, and your kindness and sacrificial heart will get you really far in God. Thank you, brother for showing the love of God and how it should be in action.
I believe many other will testify the same thing, I remember when you treat some of us for supper that night after life group :)
Thank God for you...and want to encourage you to continue to do good and help others, as I believe God will even bless you even more! God sees every little thing that you do behind the scenes. :)

Boy
After the movie, there were a lot of conversations going around...and I went straight to look for that kid again (hmm..somehow I felt a bit responsible of making sure he's taken care of)...so I was asking around (again!!) for a space for him. He lives at southside, and even there were a lot of people staying there, but most of their cars are full.
Then I noticed Boy was helping me to ask around as well. Finally, after a big round.....then he said this that really amazed me..he would take him home, at first I was a bit puzzled, cos he didnt drive. then he said that he would go home(to Sunnybank) and come back again to Indooroopilly, then fetch the kid back to southside. that means 3 trips of 20 minutes drive!!!! Brother...your heart really blessed me, there at that moment I saw God in you, just like Jesus who would extend His hands as far as He needs to...who would go all the way to the cross...and your action exemplies Christ's love. I really honour your sacrifial heart, and the bigness of your heart to reach out and help people too. I was actually a bit speechless...Just want to encourage you that God sees and remember every single little thing that you do for others. I believe there were millions of them!!!!He'll bless you even more than that!!!

Keenix
I called this sister when she was half way almost reached her home....and since I didnt really have anyone to give me a lift, so I asked is she was okay to turn back and fetch me home. And this sister is a huge blessings...I know that she was quite hungry, and it was inconvenient for her to do that. But she just said she'll come and get me.
Again...I was blown away of how much of God's love that I see tonight...Sister, you have a great heart for God..and whatever that comes your way, as you choose to even bless in the midst of inconvenient times, I believe God's going to do some amazing work in your heart. I really believe so...really touched by your friendship all these times. I thank God to have you, sister :)

I was challenged to the core, as I asked myself, putting myself in their shoes, would I do the same? How would I have reacted? Would I have done what Jesus would do?
So I pray that God will change my heart and use my life to be poured out for other...I am sick of just living for myself, I am sick of my selfishness and the lack of love in my heart. When I fail to give, I also fail to receive...
God continue to show me that a lot of times...In those small "incoveniences", they are actually "opportunities"...to bless, to love, to grow in our heart and character...
The way of the God is the opposite of the ways of the world...the world will teach us to just hold on things for ourselves, and when we give, we loose.....But the way of God is, when we give, we actually gaining, and when we loose our lives, we attain our lives...
And also, the small actions of kindness and love, as we are faithful in little things, we learn to cultivate the attitude of responding and obeying God in the midst of incoveniences, then God can trust us even of the greater things. Do not despise the days of small beginning...
Brothers and sisters, let's grow and learn from one another...I know that none of us is perfect, but no matter what, we make a committment to stick together as a family ordained by God, stick to God and one another :)

An honour and priviledge to share this journey together with all of you...to learn from each of you..all I can say is "Thank you!!!"

If I could end with a verse :
(John 13:34-35)
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

The Day..

2008-06-22T23:42:00.002+10:00

Today, I came upon the verse(Luke17:26-27)"Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also it will be in the days of the Son of Man.People were eating,drinking,marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark.Then the flood came and destroyed them all."
As I began to ponder about it, it just hit my heart, the sense of urgency that the Day is approaching, and that Day will come like a thief in the night, where no one will expect.It stir my heart to begin to live my life differently. As I ask God to help me that I may began to move beyond self-focus, selfishness, my own plans& ambitions in life.To loose my life for Christ and to start to embrace and live in the calling and purpose of God. I want to run with the vision of the Kingdom.

I believe that God's purpose will continue to move on, and it's up to me whether I want to run with it, or just let it pass me by. Well, I definitely dont want to be left behind!It's a time to seek the face of God, His will upon our lives, and make it the ultimate reason why we live here on earth. And the Holy Spirit began to remind me not to be tangled with the cares of the world, for it will choke the life of God in us. The world desires is the enemy of desire for God.

I remembered what Darlene Zscheck said during the worship night at COC a week ago, that when we ask God to bless us, and whatever things that we have, if it brings "comfort", then it will begin to rob us from the life of God in us. When we are comfortable, we are like Wally ( the duck that Ps.Wilson shared during preaching), that begin to forget the purpose and the destiny,of what it can do and supposed to do.

I found that complacency and coldness of heart towards God could easily crepe in unoticed. It's scary sometimes, when I feel that everything is going alright, while the truth is I am starting to backslide. It's when I know I need to check my heart again and allow the Holy Spirit to show me the truth, and let the truth set me free from the self-deception and lies of the enemy. At times it feels like a kick on the butt! Another times, it feels like a surgery on the heart, and it's painful for sure when I am faced with the reality of my own self before God. But that experience humbled me, knowing that the love and grace of God is so deep, so much...despite of all those failings and weaknesses, He always comes in gentleness and patience, giving me another chance to turn back to Him. And He restore again the relationship, for He keeps His covenant of love with us. The beauty of the saving grace of Jesus Christ, it's undescribable!!

Just like in the days of Noah, the building of the ark I believe it symbolise how the church is being rebuild. As the Day is approaching, I believe it's a crucial time where we need to build the Kingdom of God, and take our place in His body, the church. The Bridegroom is preparing His bride..God is perfecting and refining His church. Only when we build on what's eternal, then by God's grace then we can stand firm until the end. And the only eternal thing is the Word of God...Let's build our lives specifically according to the Word of God, for everything eventually will pass away, but the Word of God stands forever. I always remind myself, that my life here is a passing breeze in the light of eternity, and one Day...I will be standing face to face with my Maker..and I want my life to count, that I have lived to do His will. Just like Jesus, who came not for His own interest, but He came to do the will of the Father.

It began to make more sense, the purpose of being in the community of church, it's all about taking our place, and begin to embrace our calling in God, to cover each other weaknesses, and strengthen and complete the body..so that the body the function well, as each part does its work. For each one, God has called to do different things in His body.

About the Hobart trip...

2008-06-21T23:30:00.002+10:00

Used to think that it takes a lot to do things, whether it be in the ministry or other areas in life. I need to be more skillful, stronger, smarter, more capable and stuff...
It's true...it does requires a lot of my time and effort, discipline, strong will.
A lot of times, there are failings, down moments, feeling like it's going round and round in the circle.

I found it takes a lot more to be still...
To be still when you are in the storm that's wrecking your world, to be still in the midst of noise and chaos around you. To be still when discouragement and disappointment comes. To be still when there are millions of questions in your mind, and there seems to be no answer. To be still, when you dont understand what's happening, and future seems to be uncertain.

To be still before God, and know that He is the Lord of all the earth.
In this stillness, we glorify Him. We hear His voice. We sense His presence. We are with Him.

Well, another lesson from God, this time around, when there are moments where I just feel as if I'm lost and confused...of all the questions that I have, expectations, dreams and desires...
Hmm...trying to figure out the whole picture and hope that things will go as I thought it will be..
But, it didnt happen that way! Yeapp, God proves again and again, that His way is always higher and better!!!

In Hobart, was seeking God and expecting that God will show me a glimpse of His plan and just the direction of where and what does He wants me to do. Of course my natural tendency, is to have a few things in mind already, and kind of proposing them to Him, and ask Him to choose one of it..hahaha...it's funny when I think about it.
I mean, it's like saying to Him...Okay, these are the best that I could come out with, what I think are Your plans for my life...so please choose one out these plans...
I'm glad that He knows how fragile and limited we are!!Yeah..I mean how clueless I am!!
Instead of showing me stuff like, the obvious plan of where and what and how...He impress the bible verse in Isaiah 30:21 " Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, this is the way, walk in it".....
Hmm..I read it again and again..and couldnt really grasp what God is trying to tell me, in regards of the question that I'm asking Him...
Finally, the revelation came after I came back from Hobart, when I wasnt expecting it! Suddenly the revelation of the word, that it's not about this or that that I'm doing, it's not about which specific thing, place, or anything like that.It's not about me trying to figure out what's the best way for me...
But it's about living in the close and intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit...it's about every moment, taking each step at a time, to hear what He is saying, and immediately respond and obey.
That's why it's not about knowing it, but about having Him close, close enough that I can hear His voice. And when I'm walking with Him, when I'm walking in the right path, He'll encourage and reassure me that it is the right one.
Hmmm...a trip worth taken!

Trip to Hobart

2008-06-13T12:36:00.006+10:00

Was in Hobart for the past 4 days for a short getaway. Really had a good and relaxing time there. The weather was..well...pretty cold. But God has blessed those few days that it was actually quite warm, according to the local. Generally the difference is 10 degrees lower compares to Brisbane. The city is quiet, clean, and not too many people. Stayed in the hotel, which is located just behind the girls' ministry house. Managed to spend some time with the brothers and sisters from Hope Hobart. Felt the warmth of the love of the people, and I felt very blessed.

Didnt expect that I'd get so blessed during the trip..God is good :)

Just a really refreshing time, felt renewed after the trip.

Will post what God has spoken over that time soon...

Women can't read maps?

2008-06-05T00:04:00.003+10:00

Today the weather was beautiful! Been waiting for today to catch up on my running along the riverside...haha..I begin to really enjoying it. Hmm, too bad I wont be able to do it once I move to EMP :(
Afterwards, went to a sister's house who cooked us some dinner. And had a bit of difficulty trying to find my way to her house.
Haha..I think one of my weakness is definitely no sense of direction on the road! Yeap, I think it's true when they say that women can't read maps, well at least for me anyway...
So..you can guess what happened. I got lost in the city..hahaha...so I decided to call this brother, which I normally do when I get lost on the road..hehe..and in my panic voice I demand him to give me the direction until I reach the destination. While he was trying to advise me that I should learn to read the Refidex, but at that time, I had no intention to prolong my journey. I really have no confidence on myself about this...I'm really bad in reading maps. Oh, you little faith!!
Anyway, praise God that this brother is patient and understanding enough to direct me and yuhuu...I finally got there!
When I reached home, suddenly it just clicked in my mind, that wow..I really praise God, can't thank Him enough for the people that God placed in my life. When I needed that help, there was someone there, placed by God to help. And it just makes a lot more sense of what the body of Christ should be, that we ought to cover each other's weakness, where the stronger help the weaker part, and to love one another, for with love, it covers a multitude of sins. Instead of fighting with each other, we need to change our attitude to how we can help one another instead with the strength/ability that we posses that others are lacking. That's why God placed different people with different strength & weaknesses, so that we can compliment one another.

And...been thinking about this for a while, the solution to my problem...I know I need to learn to read the maps.
Or...alternatively, I can save some money and get myself a GPS system!

Hmm...I think the 2nd option is more appealing :) hahaha...

Don't know why...

2008-06-02T21:01:00.002+10:00

Don't know why...
I care so much about this boy that I hardly knew. The first time I saw him, my heart goes out to him.
Don't know why ...
I could feel what he feels, the fear, the disappointment, the hurt, having to lose someone he loves so much.
Don't know why...
I want to do what I can to love and to help.
Don't know why...
For once, it seems to be a genuine feeling from the heart.
Don't know why...
Sometimes I do what I do.
Don't know why...
I felt like I've changed and no longer the same.
Don't know why...
I can't explain when, where or how did it start.
But God knows why...

And it's getting clearer than before,
It gets bigger, wider, purer, and cleaner..
Each time He came in and stay for a little while..
A little longer...finally...
He made it His house,
And the Carpenter begin to tear down, rebuild, reorganise, and refine,
Until it's finally His..
Then..I can finally stay there.

Now I know why...

Many times...

2008-05-26T20:54:00.002+10:00

The first time...
I heard about it, and it gripped my heart, it became an answer that I was always looking for.
It opened my eyes, it changes my life, it shows me a new way of living.

The second time...
I began to understand it, I began to find ways to apply it in my life. It became my life purpose and direction.
It guided me in every decision, it made sense of things when things began not to make any sense.

Somewhere in the middle...
I've forgotten about it, it began to fade away in my heart. I get caught up in my own small little world.
In it's absence, there was confusion, a lot more of common sense. Reality seems to be what only the eyes can see.
There were many more choices, many road signs.

The third time...
It began to take hold of me. Thought I've lost it, didn't realise it never left me. It gripped my heart again.
In a way I've never felt before, it speaks of a much more clarity of what life is all about.
It became stronger and more real than ever. Until it's only what I could feel and live for.

Now....
It begin to become a part of who I am. What the eyes see, what the ears hear, what the mouth speaks, and what the heart feels. It has transformed my mind. It gives one way to live, one purpose to live.
It made me believe, that there is only one way, one truth, that leads to life. It's beyond the logic and explanation.
It's what the heart feels, know, understand, believe, and what it become.
I need to show it, I need to say it, I need to give it away, I need to live it, I need to become...

Beautiful

2008-05-10T23:28:00.003+10:00

This afternoon was at the wedding...and during the ceremony, when they are exchanging their vow, I felt wow...it's so beautiful. The joining of two hearts, two lives, in the presence of God.
It's something that God has ordained and initiated..long way before time.
And I kept on saying to myself, God..this is so beautiful. And my hearts was touched...as I begin to realise more how beautiful God is, it just amazes me more and more.
Then I was reminded of the picture of Christ and His bride, and I get excited!! Waiting for that day to come, it will be beautiful and glorious, pure and spotless.
Everything else fall short...in comparison to the beauty of our Lord!

At the riverside

2008-05-05T22:23:00.005+10:00

I went for a walk this evening before dinner time, just felt that I want to have a walk with God. Grabbed a coffee, and started walking at the riverside. I love nature, and everything that's not man-made...they always remind me of how amazing and beautiful God is. At my area, Brisbane River is the closest to nature that I can get that's within walking distance..hehe...Thoughts just going around in my mind, in and out, so much to say, but no words came out of me.

Sat by the riverside, and just looking at the reflections on the water, and the skies with just few stars, wasn't late enough for the moon to make its ways.

Heard so much noises at the back, the traffic, people passing by, bicycles....but I tried to be still, and listen to His voice. I asked that He will speak. I needed to hear His voice. For reasons that I couldn't express fully, and for things that I can't find words to describe.

All of a sudden, I heard the sound of the ripples against the rocks....and at that moment, I heard it as more that just ripples, but I heard His voice.

My heart could hear His voice, saying .."I am here...I am still here with you.."

It was just the nature's sound, but to me, it's much more than that. It wasn't even a language, but to me, it speaks words that touched my heart deeply.

It was that same voice that I have learned to recognise over the years, the voice that leads me, and speaks hope and truth, the voice close to my heart. Nothing could touch me in the way that this voice could do. It's His voice....

That moment, reassured me that no matter what I'm going through, how blurry sometimes things are, how confusing things can get, and how unclear the path is, what matters is...He is with me...and that's all I need to know, that's all I need to hear.

My Shield

2008-05-01T22:14:00.004+10:00

This morning, was on my way to work...as I was driving along the highway, heard a sharp sound..a tiny rock hit my windscreen!!! It was so tiny but yet make such a noise, and I was just thanking God that the windscreen protected and shielded me. If not then, it could be fatal ! well, think of the worst scenario....
At that moment, reminded that God is like that windscreen, it's a transparent glass, that sometimes I dont see, but it's surrounding me, protecting me and shielded me on every way.

At times when I am not aware of the danger coming, those small tiny rocks that hits my world, coming from every direction...it is Him who build His shield around me. I am safe in His presence...

Thank you, Jesus :) for always being there for me, You've protected me and you surround me with Your shield. You go before me, and You lead me each step of the way.

I'm still alive and still standing here, declaring Your praise every single
moment I live.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)

Seek His face

2008-04-28T21:47:00.007+10:00

Last night, had an encounter, felt the heart of God....
Weeping, grieving.......
And I asked, "Lord, why do I see You crying? what saddens Your heart?"
I begin to hear...the Holy Spirit saying, that "My people, they lack of prayer...My people, do not seek Me enough.." Felt the heart of God wanting to rise up people who would pray and seek His face.
And I wept.....repent... I asked God that He'll allow me to share His burdens.
There's a sense of urgency, a heart cry, wanting more of God...
He reminded me :
"If my people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face,
and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and
will heal their land."(2 Chronicles 7:14)

He is calling every heart and soul, to come before Him, on your knees, and begin to seek His face.

God's Leading (Life group 25th April'08)

2008-04-26T15:18:00.001+10:00

(wrote this last night, but internet connection failed..hehe...)

I’m actually very tired after the fantastic Life Group that we had tonight, just got home not long ago. But just couldnt contain the awe and excitement seeing what God has done. Really enjoyed being just in God’s presence, and allow Him to lead the meeting tonight. And really felt that God was leading the life group, from the start to the end. Well, couple of us were the last few to go home, had a great sharing and encouraging time with the lovely couple from Chermside.

From the P&W time, eventhough lack of preparation, and lots of things could be done...but seriously, last night God just made that moment to be a God moment!Out of our weakness, He became strong, and we learn to rely upon Him and to flow with Him, not the opposite. Man!!! It was such a wonderful moment, just watching God moves. Everything seems to be effortless and everyone was just flowing together. There was a bond, unity, where we were just focusing on God and allowing Him to speak to us. Had a great moment there, waiting upon God and moving with God, again....it’s not the opposite.
So eventhough we forgot about some stuff, just here and there, but truly it was a moment where God was teaching me, personally, to learn to rely upon Him, as if I was seeing things through a different lenses. And it just amazed me, totally overwhelmed!God really works for the good of those who love Him...and choose to trust and rely upon Him.

Big applause to all my brothers and sisters, my family in Christ, who have blessed my life so much just by being who you are and your life for God. I see a reflection of God in each and one of you. And I’m really excited to witness what God is going to do through your life. There’s no limit to what God could do through you when you let Him to. I learn what love is, through all of you.
My dearest sister tonight who lead the praise for the 1st time....very encouraged by your heart to even step out of your fear, and choose to honour Him anyway. You were amazing, sister!We did have fun yeah?I really saw you just being you, with that freedom just gave your best praise to God, very blessed by that. To my other sister who back-up sing for us, you’ve blessed everyone too with your heart to serve God despite how uneasy it is. I could already see you leading next time :p

During the time of sharing, another God moment, felt as if God orchestrated everything, and it was a good time of learning from one another. Certain statement that really inspiring was (rephrased..):
· To love God and others, is a choice we can make.
· No matter how long we became a Christian, but we must not let our hunger and thirst for God dies.
· To keep the broken spirit within our hearts, and to come in true repentance before God.Then as we experience the restoration in God, we can allow Him to use our lives to lead others that they too may experience that same restoration in Him.
· To choose to take hold of our mind, and allow God’s words to rule our mind instead.

So much more, but my eyes are getting heavier...hehehe...time to recharge, and get ready for another day. Thank God it’s a Saturday tomorrow.... J

My Lover spoke..

2008-04-21T16:34:00.006+10:00

My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise,my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.
See! the winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come....
....show me your face, let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
(Song of Songs 2:10-12,14)

Looking for love in wrong places

2008-04-21T14:08:00.000+10:00

Last night was at Gold Coast service, and it was a really refreshing moment with God. The service was amazing, I could feel that as if God was leading the whole service, and the whole church was just following the leading of God, from the start to the end. God's presence came really strong. As if I could just stay there and not go anywhere.

Ps.Lance was preaching a really anointed and convicting sermon, as the church was going through a series of "Looking for Love in the Right place" and last night the grand finale topic was what are the wrong places to look for love.

In summary, the wrong places to look for love are :

Looking for love in feelings
Looking for love in sexual relationship
Looking for love in possessing the one you love
Looking for love in your heart alone
Looking for love within limits

Inspiring and convicting statements:

The greatest place to find love, is where we have love within our own heart to love others.
One way to love ourselves is to start loving others first.
Love needs to be lived out in action (Confession + Demonstration)
We can expand in our love as we allow it to.
If we ever behold God's glory and come to know Him, but if we don't have love for others, then we are merely tourist/visitor for love.
Who wants to be loved despite that we are unlovable?But who want to remain unlovable despite the fact that we are perfectly loved?

Could not go without repenting and asking God to show me what it really means to love Him, having His love within me and living it out!

Looking for a mate?

2008-04-20T11:15:00.002+10:00

(Genesis 2:18-23)
It's just amazing how God's word speaks to you in a whole different way, eventhough you may have read it so many times..it just amazes me!!
When I continue reading through the Genesis, the word spoke to me in a whole different way, made me think though, howcome I never thought about it this way?
I'd think this is as a perspective in BGR relationship:

(v18)The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him
It is God who initiate the relationship, and the thought of God giving me a partner for life, it has been His idea since the beginning of time.
So if you're doubting weather God cares and will meet your need of a life partner? well, read this verse again and again, and be assured that you can trust God to meet your need in this area.

(v19-20)Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found
As I read the following verses, I was a bit puzzled. First, God said that He will make a helpmate for Adam, then the next thing is He formed every living creature and let Adam to give them their names....?? Earlier in Genesis 1, when God speaks one thing, the next thing is the definitely it come to pass.
Then, it just clicked!! It is the next thing!!!! God called Adam into a partnership(that's what I called), to share and involve him in what He is doing. I mean, God is more than able to come up with names for all His creation. I mean, that just spoke to me that God is a relational God, He doesnt just sees us a one of His creation, but more than that He wants us to be His friend, His business partner,to relate with us in every manner. I believe that through this experience, Adam came to experience the deeper dimension of his relationship with God, he began to relate with God. And Adam did what was given to him, the responsibility and priviledge to have God trusting him to do the work.
I believe that God given timing for a relationship is when we learn to first walk with God, experience Him, to discover the different dimension of who God is. It's such a priviledge and delight for me, to have the chance to know God so intimately...I mean, who am I? nothing but a fine dust!! But God values me and loves me more than what I could imagine!!

(v21-23)So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, for she was taken out of man."
I love this part, when after all is said and done, God came back to His first intention of giving him a helpmate!Good news!!God doesnt forget!I believe at that time, Adam was just enjoying his time with God, and he was so occupied with God..he's having a fulfilled life with God. No worries, just a contented life.
Then God, being a good God, bring His words to come to pass. I noticed that God formed the woman without Adam's knowledge, and then God presented her to Adam.
The moment she came, Adam recognised her straightaway!!Wow, I mean God even didnt have to tell Adam that this is the ONE!!!It's the question that we ask from time to time...Is this man/woman the ONE???
How could Adam do it? I believe that it was through the time he had with God previously, he came to recognise God's providence, and what's of God, he came to recognise God's timing and a new revelation of who God is, a place of trust and providence.

God's season and timing

2008-04-20T11:03:00.004+10:00

A reflection of how the scriptures speaks to me..wow!! I was so excited when it just kind of opened up to me in a whole different way.

(Genesis 1)
God's nature to create, and whatever He speaks, it came into being. Each day, He spoke things that made all the heavens and earth and everything in it. It displays the power and the glory of God through His creation.
In a day,He accomplished so much, more than what we can imagine could happen.
Pondering at this, how could at times when hardships comes and there are impossible situations, we doubt what God can do in the situation?obviously, that underestimate who God is and His Sovereignity over everything, beyond whatever we could think of!
One day is like a thousand days for the Lord, and His time frame is definitely not like ours. But His timing is always perfect and good. I believe whatever that happens in His timing is always good, and God blesses it. God makes all things beautiful in its time, so in every thing there's a God given timing.
When I look around the creation of God, it revolves around timing. The day and night, the season, the growth of every living thing,etc..
So it's always the wisest thing to do, to consult God about the timing and the manner of things in our lives.
Recognising the seasons in our lives.

What kind of car would you be?

2008-04-19T21:54:00.004+10:00

My vocal teacher asked me this question :
"If you could imagine yourself being a car, what kind of car would you be?"
Hmm...I couldnt come up with an answer, made me think ...well, also because I'm not sure what's the best car out there..but I told her that it doesnt really bother me, I'm quite happy with what I have, as long as it works well. She told me about her 12 year old student who answered that she would be a lamborghini(hope I spell it rite...).
Then she asked me again,if God would give me any type of car, what would I ask?? haha! of course then my answer was different. this time I said, the best car that you could possibly have?something better than lamborghini????

What could have possibly God planted in our lives? the potential and the seed of greatness that He has destined for our lives? Are we satisfied and content with what we have or what we can think we can ever achieve or be in this life?

I need to start to dream bigger...in my own vision for my life in God. For He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above what we can think or ask!
My God!!! again...I'm ashamed of how small my dream and vision is...may He continue to add and enlarge my life, that in my lifetime, I could stand and testify,....
"I've never thought that my life could be used by God in this way, it's something that I never thought of or I could ever possibly do!!!!!"

So, I ask you again...what kind of car would you be?

Family

2008-04-14T21:56:00.002+10:00

My sister wrote en email to me...(finally!!). Since we dont have computer at home and internet is such a foreign thing for my parents and my younger sister.
She shared about the family situation, well, basically just my mom, dad, older brother, and herself living together at home...(a place where I'll always want to be...)
Been praying about the family situation, for every single problem/challenges that each of them is facing, believing God that He'll bring about the miracles...for every single person.

Things actually are getting worse....
Almost started worrying and anxious..my heart was crying out His name, and I dont understand why things dont get better.
But I know deep in my heart, that He is in control...and I can trust Him with my family.
It's just that feeling, when bad news came or somehow faced with some challenges, then I pause, and turn my eyes upon Jesus....His peace fills my heart, and I dont have to understand, cos I know God does...and nothing that I can do, but I know God will do...
So again, I lay this burden on Him.

The worst things get, the more God's name will be glorified

The more I can hope and believe.

February'08 Chinese New Year

In That Place

2008-04-10T20:39:00.000+10:00

How do I know when I have died to myself, when the real me has finally surfaced and crucified in the life of Christ?His work seems to be endless, and there's a lot of work to be done in my heart. I realised how complicated a human being is, not just limited to women....it's as if God held up a mirror of the real me, and I get really scared, seeing how there's nothing good apart from God Himself in me. I do get anxious with myself at times, knowing that when my flesh started to take control rather than God Himself, well...things can get messy and I'll be just deceiving myself. Taking pride in the name of God...where self-reliance and the best thought of my mind get involved.

It's a time to go through the fire, time of purification, drawing near to the holiness of God...where no human flesh can stand before Him. Each step requires death, a burn offering pleasing and acceptable to God. There is pain and struggle within the human heart, a fierce battle raging in the inside, constant battle between two kingdoms. And that's when our self-will comes in, we take hold of it and choose whom are we going to serve?
What do we give our life to? do we allow darkness or the light to take hold of our world?there is a light that masked itself as light, where satan is dressed and appear as an angel of light. But the light that is pure, that sets us free, the light that cuts deep within the heart like a double edge sword, where no human flesh can remain alive. It makes us uncomfortable with ourselves, vulnerable, and completely broken, poor....it gets us to the place of humility, a place of realisation how small and fragile everything else, and how steady, strong, and great is our God.

So Lord..I want to remain in that place.
Burn within me with your Holy fire...and take me deeper, that I may stay there.